You know what I can’t stand. Those parents who put all those bumper stickers on their car about their honor student son. They’re the same parents who bore you to tears in the produce aisle telling you about how awesome their children are and they go on and on explaining how their children are kinda’ like your children…but better.
Well ha! on them because I am watching the children in the pool right now and I’ve discovered something pretty amazing. I am writing because I want this moment to be memorialized by history books.
Today, I discovered that my six year old son is the greatest “Marco Polo” player ever. You know the game, where the kid who’s “it” closes their eyes and calls out “Marco” and everyone else yells “Polo” and based on that response the person who is “it” has to locate and tag the other people in the pool.
Now, at just six years old, my amazing son hardly ever calls out “Marco,” yet the second he goes underwater he is uncannily able to follow his older sisters around the pool like a bloodhound. I mean, if they turn left he turns left. If they juke right, he instantly responds in kind. Showing a three dimensional mind blowing sonar ability, he even dives down if one of his sisters attempts to swim under him in the deep end. It’s uncanny because when his head is above water he seems unable to do much but the moment his head goes underwater his powers seem to kick in.
I know what you’re thinking -he’s probably opening his eyes. But no. His sisters came to the same wacky conclusion but he said he wasn’t so…I guess he wasn’t. It’s just an Aqua-man like super power.
I hesitate to even write this publicly because I fear that once the government discovers his amazing abilities to locate silent people in the water while his eyes are closed they may take him away and perform all sorts of horrific scientific experiments with probes and sharp things.
So just in case the government is reading this, I’ll pretend to believe my 11 year old daughter’s assertion that he’s just opening his eyes underwater. Yeah, maybe it’s best if we pretend that’s true. But between you and me and that mom in the produce aisle who thinks her kid is soooo awesome, we know that my son just has an awesome super ability to find people underwater with his eyes closed. And that makes him kinda’ like your kid…but better.
Note: My brother and sister are telling me I didn’t make clear in the post that OF COURSE HE’S CHEATING!!!!