Cardinal Timothy Dolan seems intent on inviting President Barack Obama to the Al Smith Dinner. So CMR accepts this and simply offers some suggestions for the dinner:
10) Cardinal Dolan should give a speech in advance of the event about how we can all differ about what’s best served at these kinds of events but he would offer assurances of protections for those who want to eat something different. He should say we can all disagree on what’s best on the menu but nobody should be forced to eat something they don’t want to.
9) The Cardinal should then make promises as to what’s going on the menu but then change the menu. A few times. If there are complaints, the Cardinal should simply promise to change the menu at some future date.
8) If President Obama doesn’t like what he’s served, the Cardinal should offer an accomodation meal which is exactly the same meal just served a little while later.
7) Obama needs to eat every darn crumb whether he wants to or not.
6) Wrap all food in latex. Liberals seem to think everything’s better in latex.
5) Have three female Catholic college students hector Obama about how they can’t afford meals and how dangerous it is for women not to eat regularly. So they want his meal right now. And condiments too.
4) Obama can come to the dinner but he must write out all the things he won’t be eating like crisis pregnancy centers have to do.
3) Obama must pay for everyone else’s meal even if he doesn’t like what they’re eating because some people can’t afford a meal.
2) None of the meals may have drinks larger than 16 oz and instead of fries he can get wrapped apple wedges.
1) The Cardinal will speak at the dinner and then when it’s Obama’s turn to speak the Cardinal should say that Obama’s position is “not fair” and then call that dialogue.
If you’d like to add some demands to this list, I’d love to read them.