This is a pretty funny story…if you’re not named Matt Archbold. I coach pretty much every sport for our township. My wife also coaches the Varsity girls basketball team for our Catholic school. It’s fun to do with the kids. The thing is once you agree to coach one sport, the folks in charge have you pegged as a coach and no matter how ignorant you are of that sport they’re going to ask you to coach.

So this year I already coached softball and soccer. I know nothing about soccer. Nothing. But now it’s basketball season. I love basketball. I know basketball. I can teach basketball.

So I bring my two oldest into the gym for the evaluations. They grade each player in order to make the teams fairly equal. So the head of the township league comes walking over to me as I walk in. “I need to speak with you Matt,” he said.

I signed them in and he says, “Hey Matt, listen we’re putting the teams together and it looks like we have enough girls for four teams.” And then he pauses for a moment.

Now, I’ve been here. I’ve heard this speech before. This is how they always approach me. They need a coach and I’m their guy. I know it. He knows it. Let’s just get to the asking part.

He continued, “Now, the big problem I’m having here is that we don’t have enough coaches. Yeah, we’re a little short on coaches so…You see, these older girls require some strong coaching. Someone who really understands the game and can teach the girls the game before they get to high school.”

OK. OK. Get to it. Get to it. Just ask me, I’m thinking.

“So,” he continued, “if you could ask your wife if she could coach a team this year, we’d appreciate it.”

Bam. No. You. Didn’t.

I’m coaching the 5 and 6 years olds. My wife is coaching the 13 and 14 year olds.

*subhead*Oh snap.*subhead*