I woke up this morning with a clear memory of my departed brother’s face in my mind. He was smiling. I was so thankful for it because even seeing a picture isn’t the same as a clear picture in your mind. So I woke up thankful. And that’s a nice way to wake up.
It’s an odd thing about losing a loved on. When they pass away, it’s not just that you can’t imagine them not being in this world it’s that you can’t understand the world going on without them. I remember when my brother passed away, I walked outside the hospice and was surprised to see cars zooming by and even clouds moving. You can’t quite believe everything and everyone is acting like the most important thing in the world didn’t just happen. And there’s a part of you that can’t quite forgive the world for turning.
The hard part is seeing the world not take notice while believing that not a single sparrow can fall to the ground without the Father knowing it. That is the disconnect Christians have with the world. We’re called to take part in it but not be of it. But Christians are good at accepting mysteries. It’s not without pain but we understand it comes with the territory.
Sometimes when we’re in pain we just put a face on and just keep going. Sometimes we pretend so well that we forget we’re pretending. Maybe it makes it easier.