You wanna’ be pro-marriage? Be pro-ugly Nanny. Just sayin’. I think a lot of marriages could be saved with this idea. I’m going to start a business called the “No Monkey Business Nanny Service.” I’ll only hire ugly people. Men and women.

I’ve read way too many things about dudes running off with the pretty nineteen year old nanny. So to be pro-marriage I say 1) hire an ugly nanny or 2) raise your own darn kids.