Man wins woman’s race. It’s happening now. With increasing frequency. You’ve seen the headlines. It’s still new enough to be considered an anomaly. But how long will it be anomalous? I know a lot of the time, most people just stand back and shake their heads because it’s not happening at their children’s school or the child isn’t racing against their child.

But in all seriousness, a young woman could lose a scholarship to a dude who says he’s a girl. So what to do? Here’s a few ill considered options.

One option is if a dude wants to participate in a woman’s race, then he’s got to pay the price. They come up to the desk to sign in to the race and it should go like this:

Runner: (Deep voiced) Hi, I’m Randy. I’d like to race.
Race administrator: Hiya Randy. Nice to meet you. Hey listen, I couldn’t help but notice something in your spandex over there.
Runner: Uhm yeah, I’m transitioning but I haven’t fully transitioned.
RA: Understand completely. Hectic schedule and all. Always lots to do. So just pull your junk out and place it in the scrotum guillotine on the table here and we’ll fix you right up. What’s that? You don’t want to? Where you going? Hey look, he’s running away. Pretty fast too. I mean, not fast for a man but he might have won this race against girls.

So there’s that. I’m pretty sure there could be some liability issues with that approach so…lawyers.

Or we could go the opposite way. Make women eventually protest this trend by every dude out there joining girls teams. I mean, just absolutely overwhelm them with boys trying out for girls teams. Then the feminist leaders will have a choice to make. Do they side with the LGBTQ’s or with the belief that girls should have access to sports teams. I honestly don’t know which side they’d choose. Probably whichever one felt more anti-man.

Or the third option is that perhaps we could stop sitting on our hands and silencing ourselves out of fear of losing Facebook friends. We could start calling out lies and deceptions for what they are. We could try explaining the truth about gender and sexuality. Just an idea. Or we could always go with the guillotine of the scrotum.