I know you want Twitter to love you. You post all the time. You read it incessantly. You even got into a lengthy fake Twitter fight about whether Die Hard was a Christmas movie. They should love you. But here’s the thing. They want you. They need you. But there ain’t no way they’re ever gonna’ love you. In fact, (spoiler alert) they hate you.

And here’s the most hurtful part, they don’t really seem to care that you know it. On Saturday, the pro-life film “Unplanned” saw its Twitter account mysteriously frozen. Mysteriously. For hours. On opening weekend, folks. Yeah. sort of a big deal. That’s like falling asleep on your wedding night. No, it’s worse. It’s like inviting Kevin Spacey to your wedding night.

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