With the demographics of Europe in free fall, some social experts and scientists from Europe traveled to America last week on a fact finding mission to discover why America’s population was stable and even increasing. The scientists were shocked to see that America was filled with tiny people wearing diapers and speaking no discernible language.

“You know,” said one scientist from Germany. “I haven’t seen one of these very small people anywhere in the European Union in years but if history is correct then this could be a species known as infantus terriblus. We believed them to be extinct.”

A sociologist from Sweden postulated that America had been taken over by a race of small undisciplined savages and they seem to have enslaved the big people with some mind-twisting technology. “When these small people drool there’s typically an adult jumping up and wiping their chin. And I hate to say it but when these very small people defecate, the big people change them within minutes and are even sometimes forced to joke about it. And most horribly, some of the little people seem to drink the life right out of the American female’s breast.

One economist marveled at how the economy of America was still so strong while supporting an invasion of little tyrants.

“Thank God that Europe has not fallen under the yoke of these small people,” said Bishop McMurphy of the Anglican Church.