This is kind of touchy. A woman died leaving behind two toddlers. And I am sorry about that. But there’s more to the story that, I think, highlights a profound misunderstanding in our culture.
The woman who died at 69 gave birth to twins when she was 66 years through IVF.
Look, there’s a natural cycle to all things. And playing with it will often end badly. In this case, two children are now orphans. And their mother sold her home in order to afford the IVF. So what we’ve got are two homeless orphans in need of love.
Here’s the thing: Women can naturally have babies up until a certain age. That’s not discrimination. That’s not Matt being mean. I think the reason is that babies need mothers and mothers have a lot better chance of seeing babies grow up if they have their babies when they’re not…uhm 66 years old.
That God’s a clever One, isn’t He?
But people argue that we’re not limited anymore because science is constantly pushing boundaries and opening up new possibilities. Hey, just because Science can doesn’t mean that science should. And this case is evidence of that.
I think many people forget that having babies is not about you. The moment the egg and sperm connect, it ceases to be about you. That’s why so many people freak and abort children because they’re not ready for their world to not be about themselves. Having sex was about them so they don’t understand what changed?
Here’s some pretty revelatory quotes from The AP story:
There was no word on who would raise the children, named Pau and Christian. Bousada had once said she would look for a younger man to help her raise them.
In January 2007, she told the British tabloid News of the World that she sold her house to raise $59,000 to pay for the in vitro fertilization.
“I think everyone should become a mother at the right time for them,” Bousada said in a video of the interview provided to Associated Press Television News.
“Often circumstances put you between a rock and a hard place, and maybe things shouldn’t have been done in the way they were done, but that was the only way to achieve the thing I had always dreamed of, and I did it,” she said.
I dreamed it so I did it. I fear that will be the motto of the 21st century.
July 15, 2009 at 4:35 pm
I fear that will be the motto of the 21st century.
Or its epitaph. We can't use the Albert Camus formulation of the modern man's epitaph — "He fornicated and read the papers" — because no one reads the papers anymore.
July 15, 2009 at 4:37 pm
Will people ever understand that freedom isn't the same thing as license to do whatever you want?
Just because something CAN be done doesn't mean it should be done. And sadly, it's also true that IF something can be done…someone, somewhere will try to do it.
Still, I don't think there's going to be an onslaught of senior citizen moms…most women instictively know that having kids in your 20s and 30s is tiring enough 🙂 I speak from personal experience.
July 15, 2009 at 6:45 pm
I'd amend Camus to read, "He fornicated and surfed the Internet."
July 15, 2009 at 6:49 pm
AMEN!! AMEN!! AMEN!!
I actually just had this very same conversation with my mother. I'm 32 with a husband and three kids, she's… 58 I think? And her and my dad just got divorced after 38 years and she somehow thinks that she doesn't have to be my mom anymore. I completely disagree and I said the very same things you said here Matt. Once you get married, your life is no longer yours. You give yourself to the other completely. Once you get pregnant… even more so. God asks us to do certain things. Sacrifice is one of them. Having a family is a sacrifice, but it's the most rewarding sacrifice He could ever bless us with. He created the natural order of things so this could be done properly. IVF at 66 is sick. It's most definitely the most selfish thing I have seen yet. Those poor little babies. But God must have a plan for them and another family out there who will adopt them. I will keep them in my prayers. Good post. Thanks and God bless.
July 15, 2009 at 6:53 pm
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July 15, 2009 at 6:53 pm
Okay. I think you may be on to something when people freak and abort because they are not ready for the world to be about their babies. Like a bunch of selfish drug addicts who can only think about themselves, they need to see the bigger picture which God has planned for them.
July 15, 2009 at 7:31 pm
Selfish too that she didn't bother to consult her family before she did the IVF. Now they're left to raise her children.
July 15, 2009 at 8:24 pm
Subvet,
Firstly, don't kick the bucket any time too soon. Yours is too original a voice in the blogosphere.
Secondly, your children would not be orphaned by your passing. As your wife puts up with you I'm reasonably confident she has the patience of a saint and would make do in your absence with your children.
And nature seems OK with you reproducing even though I believe Obama's Science Czar would have a problem with it I am sure you've given this some hard thought and prayed often.
As far as a free pass, none of us get that. We all need prayers and help from above.
July 16, 2009 at 1:04 am
Matthew, evidently I pulled my post too soon. Thought it was a bit too much "waa-waa" Thanks for your reply.
For those wondering, I had asked about older fathers (I'm one). Related the ages of my kids (5,4 & 2), the fact my wife could pass as my daughter (yes, I'm a dirty old man), and wondered if men would get a pass since we're able to father children much longer than women can naturally bear them.
Yes, my wife is well on the way to sainthood with my help. Her conversion to the Church this past Easter pretty well cinches the deal!
July 16, 2009 at 3:43 pm
Hang in there with your Mom, Karen. There's something about that generation that just makes them not see past their own nose, I feel. Maybe with enough prayer and example she'll come around and understand your more mature example of Motherhood.
July 16, 2009 at 7:28 pm
I had a conversation about this situation the other day. I find it funny that the same people (media) that so thoroughly promote thr IVF mentality are APPALLED! at a woman having a child in her 60s.
I certainly don't think it is a good idea, but I take the Church's stance on IVF…DON'T DO IT!!!
How can so many be so blind to the "inevitable" slippery slope when they promote all of these supposedly "good" scientific "advances", YIKES.
As a 45 year old who is 20 weeks pregant…I get enough grief from my family…especially since my husband is 10 years older! Our eldest is 10 1/2. Everyone keeps telling my poor darling convert husband that he "never gets to retire"…the joke is on them…in this economy with this President…none of THEM get to retire either…and they don't have the children around to keep them young and take care of them later, either!