I present to you as a gift the most ridiculous and just laughably bad attempt to slime the Catholic Church by The Politico in weeks.

But this attack on the Church is just so poorly done that I literally laughed out loud on reading it. You’ve got to check it out. The whole thing is ludicrous but you at least have to read the first two sentences. Here’s the first sentence:

Thirty-three years ago this fall, a bitter, race-tinged fight over abortion matched Roman Catholic bishops and the House against the nation’s first popularly elected black senator, Republican Ed Brooke of Massachusetts.

OK. So we can take from the first sentence that the Church is racist because it opposed the first popularly elected black Senator, right?

And since that’s the lede you’d expect the article would actually mention Brooke again. It doesn’t. Not once.

Note to The Politico: The lede of a story should kinda’ be indicative of where you’re going. If you mention a standoff between the Church and “THE FIRST POPULARLY ELECTED BLACK SENATOR” you should probably mention “THE FIRST POPULARLY ELECTED BLACK SENATOR” again, don’t you think?

You’d think The Politico would substantiate (even a little) that the debate over the Hyde Amendment was “race tinged.” It doesn’t. So, to make it clear, the first black Senator has nothing to do with this story as he’s never mentioned again and nowhere is his race brought into the story again.

Does The Politico name the color of every Senator it mentions? It doesn’t mention Senator Henry Hyde’s ghostly white pallor when referring to him. But let’s face it, the only reason the writer mentions Senator Brooke is so they can pit the Catholic Church against a black Senator to imply racism.

OK. So now let’s go to the second sentence. The second sentence has two points of information.

Now, with health care reform on the line, the same male-dominated church hierarchy is dictating to the first woman speaker of the House, Democrat Nancy Pelosi, a Catholic herself and past ally for the bishops on everything from human rights in China to tax credits for low-income families.

Gotta’ love the “male dominated hierarchy” dictating to the “first woman speaker.” Hey Politico, Nancy Pelosi called the bishops for their support. Are the bishops under some kind of command to do what Nancy Pelosi says? The bishops stood up against the healthcare plan because of its inclusion of federal funding of abortion. Pelosi changed the bill and called the bishops to gain their support. That’s hardly dictating.

And the second nugget of info in that sentence is that Saint Nancy is quite the wonderful Catholic who’s right in line with those mean traitorous bishops and has been their ally on everything…oh except little things like the legalized slaughter of 43 million unborn babies.

So, in short, the Catholic Church hates black people, hates women, and often turns on even the saintliest of its members. Not that any of that has anything to do with the story but I guess The Politico wants you to know that.