I know the Charismatic movement has many things to commend it, I am sure. Many more things than say, the religious education conference in LA. But unfortunately, they have too much in common.

Here is the thing. If I wanted to be a Pentecostal, I would be a Pentecostal. The Holy Spirit gives many gifts, no doubt about it. I just wish that one of those gifts was taste, or any other gift that would prevent stuff like this…

Like I said, I am sure the movement has much to commend it. But I just don’t get it. Somebody help me. What is good about bad art and bad music? The tongues and being ‘slain in the Spirit,’ I just don’t get.

I have no doubt that one can be so overwhelmed with the Holy Spirit as to feel faint. But every overweight white person in Ohio at the same time? That’s more like Swine Flu or somebody should be checking the fish buffet — stat!

The tongues thing, the tongues thing. I get the concept. Really. But I mean, really? Really?

I also get the attraction of praise and worship music, but why can’t it be kept outside of the liturgy? And why does it have to be so bad? And I don’t wish to be mean, but are most charismatics just former Baptists who got kicked out for having no rhythm? I’m not sayin’, I’m just sayin’…

Somebody help me, please? What am I missing here?