As someone who has said and done many stupid things in bars all across the United States, the southern part of Canada, and a strange town in Mexico I can say this is stupider than anything I ever did. Pretty much.

Catholic Herald reports:

Secret plans detailing the Pope’s exact movements during the Mass at Cofton Park were left behind in a pub, it emerged this week.

The five-page document was found at Moorings bar and grill in Leamington Spa, Warwickshire. It revealed where the Pope’s car would be parked, where he would be vesting, and the route he would take to the stage. It also showed exactly where VIPs would be sitting.

Jim Treherne, the manager of the bar, said: “If someone with malicious intent got their hands on these they’d be able to plan all sorts of trouble. It beggars belief that they were just left lying around.”

After some exhaustive research by CMR’s reporting staff we’ve received a list of eight things overheard at the pub on the night in question:

1) Seriously, don’t let me forget these. My boss’ nickname was “Rotweiler.” You really think he’s going to stand for me losing these?
2) You really showing the super secret Pope plans to the ladies is going to impress them all that much.
3) Who’s driving the Popemobile home?
4) Why did God make Tequila taste so good if he didn’t want us to drink it?
5) No playing quarters with miraculous medals.
6) You think this is bad? I once left the Shroud of Turin at TGI Fridays.
7) Don’t worry. They can’t fire me. Hans Kung is my cousin.
8) My boss said if I mess up one more time I’m gonna’ be made Ambassador to Malta.

But seriously, this is the kind of stupidity where I start wishing that the Church really did have albino assassin monks – you know -just to keep everyone on their toes.