Adventures of a New Mom
As my brothers may have mentioned I am the sister who just had her first child. As the youngest of 7 and the aunt to 19 I figured that I would transition to this mother thing with no hiccups. My brother Matt makes it look easy – how hard could it be?
I was wrong.
Now let me start by saying that I consider myself to be a pretty in shape person. I do Pilates a few times a week and I Zumba one or two times a week as well. So I never considered the idea that a trip I have done a gazillion times would make me sweat more than any workout I have ever done. I had agreed to do a short theater show only 5 weeks after giving birth. That was my first mistake. I had to get from house to Times Square, New York City for rehearsal and I had to take the baby with me. This trip usually takes me about 20 minutes 30 tops. On this particular day I packed up baby boy and all his accoutrements and was out the door an hour early because I am totally that prepared mom who is ready for anything and still arrives on time to everything a woman I like to call “Totally Together Mom” (TTM). We started out wrong. I put baby in the car seat and attached it to the Snap and Go stroller while I was still in the house. I forgot that to get the stroller out the front door and down the steps takes coordination on par with the people who can spin a basketball on their index finger while updating their profile picture on Facebook.
I got the stroller out the door then squatted down to lift this entire contraption up and down 3 steps. 3 steps and I was sweating already. But I had gotten over my first hurdle. Time to resume the facade of TTM who is unfazed by all this.
Baby Boy and I arrived at the subway stop that is about 60 feet elevated from the street. Normally, I take the escalator but being TTM I declared that to be dangerous and crossed the street to the elevator. I hopped the elevator with an older woman who looked sweetly at the baby and then told me I put his hat on too low and the Baby was Blind. I smiled and lifted the hat an inch up on his forehead and then watched him get it back down over his eyes in 10 seconds flat. Off that elevator, swiped the Metrocard and got the MTA employee to open the gate so I could get the stroller in. No problem. I then walked across to the next elevator and then I saw that the elevator to Times Square was out of order. Had I been going in the other direction there I would be, “TTM” on the way up to the platform. But no, I doubled back to the stairs. It’s about 35 steps up. I waited for a second hoping another subway patron would offer to help me carry it up. But the only other patron is the old lady who told me I blinded my child. I wasn’t asking her. So I squatted again, took a moment to be happy I work out so much because my quad muscles were so strong. Then lifted Car Seat / stroller combo and carried it up the stairs telling myself, “Breathe in through the nose out through the mouth.”
I got to the top and placed Baby Boy down. Now we had achieved sweat on the back of my neck and a heart rate well above the fat burning zone. Ok hard part over. Put a look on my face that it was nothing. Train arrives. The saying “Watch the Gap” keeps running through my head. I was going to carefully navigate Baby Boy over the gap and he would be safe riding the subway for the first time. I got over the gap but forgot to worry about the jerky people who only stand by the doors of the subway car and don’t scoot when they see a mother with a stroller. I stare at this punky 20 year old who won’t move as I am trying to magically make the stroller more narrow to squeeze past him. Alas I have no magic skills so I summoned my polite upbringing and said “Excuse Me.”
“Yea?”
“Excuse Me, please”
(Sigh and roll of the eye) as he moves away from the door to middle of train. Ok, TTM. I can handle punky kids with grace because I am an adult now – I mean come on, I have got a kid!
We arrive at Times Square station. And the sweat was starting to dry. I get out on the platform not even having to look at the Gap. I follow the signs to the Elevator and there I go with 2 other moms with strollers. We call the elevator and see no cables moving. Internal thought, “COME ON!I already bench pressed this stroller once.” As we all turned toward the stairs, one mom spotted the cables moving. Internal thought: “Oh Thank God, though of course TTM could bench press baby as necessary.”
As we get in we take in the wonderful aroma of urine. I decide to only breath through my mouth on all future MTA elevators. I looked at the three buttons and realized I had no idea what button to press. My options are something like Mezzanine, Platform and Platform B. Whatever happened to “First floor, Second Floor, Exit.”
So I pressed Mezzanine. The images of what the word “mezzanine” brings to mind is nowhere near reality. I hear Mezzanine I’m thinking there’s a lounge and a piano player. Now if any of you have ever been in the NYC Subway system you know the reality is homeless man playing a gazoo. I get out on mezzanine only to realize I am not on the right floor. But embarassed I got off anyway because I didn’t want to tarnish my image. I then did a lap around the mezzanine and got back on the elevator and went up one more floor. All right. Home stretch. I walked underground to the Handicap Accessible exit. That is unfortunately up a huge ramp. And upstream of about 6,000 other New Yorkers who have no gumption about banging into a stroller with a 5 week old. I navigate it as if I am competing Slolom at Beijing. Sweat begins again. I get out to the Port Authority building. I found the elevator. Just FYI, it is in the far corner away from everything imaginable. More sweat. It works! Huzzah! Ok one more hurdle and we are there. I arrive at the Port Authority “Mezzanine” and FYI, much more Mezzaniney. I walk to the Handicap Accesible ramp which of course is no where near the elevator. And then I see it. The straw that crumbles the TTM facade. An Out of Order sign. On a Ramp. How could a ramp be out of order? Was it bumpy? Covered in ice? Does it go in a circle? But it was out of order none the less.
Now with hair falling out of the ponytail and sweat dripping down my back I circle back to the stairs and squat again. I pick up the stroller and walk down the steps I can’t see. I am pretty short so after picking up the stroller all I see is Graco. At the bottom of the steps I placed Baby Boy down and walked to the door. There was a man walking in. He saw me stepped back and held the door for me. I nearly cried at this act of kindness. I would have hugged him but after all it is NYC and you don’t know where that guy has been. And as I walked the one block to the theater I realized two things.
1. I am 10 minutes late
2. I am not “Totally Together Mom.”
I am “New Mom” who just survived her first of many adventures of how her life has changed. But as I looked at baby boy who was still blinded by his hat and thankfully slept through the whole trip I realized how my life has changed for the better.
July 22, 2011 at 2:53 am
Haha! Great post! I love that first paragraph. "Matt makes this mother thing look easy."
July 22, 2011 at 3:03 am
Too funny 🙂 I can totally relate….just a little tip I learned the hard way, the baby carriers that help you hold the baby very close your body are a LIFE SAVER on adverntures like this.
July 22, 2011 at 3:41 am
Awesome! The trials and joys of navigating with new baby and the baby gear in nyc and subways. Know it well. Go, Archbold sister new Mom! Bless you!
July 22, 2011 at 3:52 am
Heh. Even as a Dad, I can relate. Looks like TTM is about to discover "baby-wearing" instead of strollers.
Oh, and you can add an additional 10 minutes late for every kid you have. It happens. Just roll with it.
July 22, 2011 at 5:01 am
I love this post. You are on the right track, but you should get a jogging stroller. the wheels are bigger and make it much easier to maneuver. Also you can get a plasti screen for baby boy so you can use it in rain or snow. We loved ours. P.S. It ways less than a regular stroller. Use a boppy for the very new babies!!!
July 22, 2011 at 5:27 am
"How could a ramp be out of order? Was it bumpy? Covered in ice? Does it go in a circle?"
This had me in stitches. Love it.
July 22, 2011 at 12:33 pm
So funny. Lose your stroller and get a sling or one of those Baby Bjorn things, baby backpacks are good once they can hold their head up too… The greatest moment of my baby mom life was when DH & I ditched the stroller in a locker (back when they had these…) in the Chicago Airport…Somebody who weighs 14lbs does not need 50lbs of equipment…
July 22, 2011 at 1:32 pm
Ergo Baby Carrier rocks! Very comfortable. You can wear baby and carry a small umbrella stroller too for later if you need it. I can't imagine navigating the NY subway with a stroller. DC is bad enough, and it has more elevators. I'm impressed he didn't wake up and need to nurse during the stair climb. That's what my daughter would have done.
July 22, 2011 at 2:22 pm
Hang in there, you may not feel like it but you are a TTM!
Did love the ramp out of order line, great stuff.
July 22, 2011 at 2:55 pm
I always weave through the streets of NYC like I’m competing the Slalom! I get a little competitive about it… and it helps being small because I can squeeze through tiny windows of space to work my way skillfully around obstacles (aka tourists).
I have to say, Archbold Sister, you are my hero! I have the upmost respect for the women I see navigating the NYC subway system with their strollers. It’s been hard enough dragging my visiting autistic sister though the underground maze, but at least I don’t have to carry her up and down stairs!
July 22, 2011 at 3:32 pm
Another vote for slings. Also, if you get a good, close-fitting sling and a bulky winter coat, you can wear your baby INSIDE the coat. This has two advantages in the winter:
1. Your coat keeps baby war, so no wrestling with those baby snowsuits that take forever.
2. You are walking around with a small, squishy spaceheater strapped to your chest. Body heat means everyone is comfy!
Also, those strollers that have carseats attached are a PAIN on sidewalks, curbs, etc. I DETEST Graco (but had one as a firsttime mom.) Honestly, they're designed for people who only walk in shopping malls.
My advice? Sling till he's a year old, then get one of the non-designer McClaren urban umbrella strollers (Target has them). Easy to manouver, comfortable height for moms AND dads, designed for city walking, folds down small, AND (this is a huge one) GOOD UP TO 55 pounds! The Gracos lose manouverability and start coming apart as your kid grows.
Also, shun the cheapy umbrella strollers (the 25-30 ones) They tend to spontaneously discombobulate when you're in the middle of a busy urban intersection, are hard to steer, and have a ridiculously low weight limit! Oh, and they're too short for men to push…..
July 22, 2011 at 4:24 pm
I was told that when I was born anything that fell to the floor was bleached and boiled by my mother. All I know is that when my brother was born, my mother would say "just blow the dirt off, it'll be fine."
July 22, 2011 at 5:21 pm
Another recommendation for strollers- the Jeep three wheel jogging strollers can go up and down stairs. You can usually find on on Craigslist for cheap too. To get stroller up stairs (it's painstaking, but it works) put the front wheel on the next step and lever the weight on to it while moving the back wheels up to the next step. To get down stairs, turn stroller backwards and tip it towards you so the weight is only on the rear wheels. By walking down backwards you can give your child a controlled but slightly bumpy descent.
I agree with the moms recommending the sling- what were those designers thinking that it would be somehow easier to take a 20lb car seat in and out of the car?? Except on the coldest days, I'd take my baby in and out of the car seat and plop him in the stroller.
July 22, 2011 at 6:23 pm
Slings are great… except when you get where you're going and you need to put the baby down to do whatever you're doing. I assume that whatever "I had agreed to do a short theater show" entails, it doesn't work well when a baby is hanging off the front or back. Sometimes you need a stroller and all its bulk.
What a stroller in the city helps you appreciate is how difficult it must be for the truly handicapped in wheelchairs in such. They don't get the option of walking up and down stairs so what do they do when the ramps or elevators are out of order?
July 22, 2011 at 6:48 pm
"I get out on mezzanine only to realize I am not on the right floor. But embarassed I got off anyway because I didn't want to tarnish my image."
Mother! pride cometh before the fall…yadda yadda yadda. Proud, er, New Mom, steel yourself to be embarrassed everyday for the rest of your life otherwise you won't have to worry about a tarnished image but a tarnished soul! God bless you, dear lady.
July 22, 2011 at 8:09 pm
Ergo. Get yourself an Ergo carrier. It's worth the investment and can last forever. This way you an become hands free and carry a carseat or stroller without the baby in it so when you do get where you're going and need to put the baby down, you can. But honestly? The baby being that young… I'm sure SOMEONE will agree to hold the baby. Not many people can pass up a sleeping infant to hold.
Good job mama! Doing something that intense at 5 weeks postpartum is pretty good. Just don't overdo it! You're still in that recovery phase.
July 22, 2011 at 10:20 pm
i understand that this was a light hearted post, but i feel compelled to point out that the frustrations you experienced are an every day, completely avoidable disabling experience faced by every single wheelchair user in this country. even the author, in the article, points out the frustrations that occurred when the "handicapped" entrance was out of order (wheelchair accessible, please). What would you have done if, as a wheel chair user, taking the steps was simply not an option for you? what if you were on your way to a job interview, and lost the ability to interview because of these mishaps? i'm not trying to derail this thread, only trying to point out that moms with strollers have benefited peripherally in many ways by the ADA [whose anniversary is the 26] via curb cuts, bridge plates for the subbways, ramps, and elevators. yet, it's the ones who use w/c's who face an insurmountable obstacle [not merely one that makes you sweat] when we don't care enough to continue to improv our facilities, make sure that there is enough funding so that elevators remain in order, etc. sorry, i know it's slightly o/t, but it's something we need to think about if we call ourselves prolife.
July 22, 2011 at 10:48 pm
I am a mother to 5 and, from the outside, a TTM- I was told this morning that I must "have it all together" for taking a 1 mo. old to the park/tennis lessons for an hour in 80 degree heat.
However, I'll let you in on a secret–Motherhood is an immense workout and none of us have it "together". We're simply trying to look graceful under pressure. And, it sounds like you did exactly that! 😉
Peace to you!
July 23, 2011 at 1:48 am
You rock Mary!
July 23, 2011 at 1:40 pm
Does TTM have her own blog? If not, she should. In her spare time when she's not doing Pilates, Zumba, or navigating a tot in a stroller through New York City.