A United Nations group is pushing to make abortion, drug use, and contraception a human right for anyone as young as ten years old.

What?! That’s outrageous. And discriminatory against nine year olds!

I’m smelling a class action lawsuit here folks. Nine year olds of the world unite. Lawyer up!

You know how little kids are. They want all the same rights as their older siblings. My nine year old wants to be able to stay up as late as my eleven year old to watch Phineas and Ferb but I could imagine others kids wanting to dope themselves up, contracept, and abort just because that’s what the cool older kids are doing.

Just in case you think I’m kidding about the UN thing, here’s the CNS News report:

Y-PEER, a youth initiative of the United Nations Population Fund (UNFPA), has issued a call to make access to abortion and contraception an international human right for children as young as 10 years old.

The U.N.-affiliated group also issued what U.N. analysts say is a call for the decriminalization of prostitution and drug use, and for “confidentiality” in health-care services for youth.

The “Joint Youth Statement on the Sexual and Reproductive Health and Rights of Young People” was released in preparation for the U.N. Youth Conference, which began Wednesday in New York.

“In order to fully recognise young people’s sexual and reproductive rights, especially the right to choose, we must achieve universal access to safe and youth-friendly sexual and reproductive health care services, including access to evidence-based comprehensive sexuality education, in formal and non-formal settings,” the document states.

I can’t help but laugh at the thought of these UN pinheads arguing about the cutoff age with some arguing that anything under ten years old is just too young. Good to know the UN has their limits, huh?

Maybe eight and nine year olds could get a permission slip to contracept, abort, and shoot H. Or maybe a judge’s waiver. But boy, birthday parties for ten year olds are sure to get a lot more interesting. Pin the tail on the…WHAT!!!?

In the meantime, whenever my nine year old asks to stay up as late as her older sister I’ll say no and tell them that they have no rights. And hey, the UN agrees with me.

HT Weasel Zippers