This is the text of a letter from a principal of an elementary school. I shouldn’t even have to comment on this. Pure lunacy speaks for itself.

Global Toronto has the letter:

Dear Parents/Guardians:

These past few weeks, we have had a few serious incidents, staff and students being hit by a hard ball or nearly being hit by a hard ball in our schoolyard. Despite attempts to control the use of soccer balls, footballs, volleyballs and tennis balls and several requests to our students to be careful and mindful of bystanders, we have not been able to ensure the safety of all students and adults.

As a result, starting today, Monday, November 14, 2011, students are not going to be allowed to bring or play with any kind of hard ball to school. Any balls brought will be confiscated and may be retrieved by parents from the office. The only kind of ball allowed will be nerf balls or sponge balls.

We regret that we have had to resort to this measure. We hope that this move will make our schoolyard a safer place to be.

Oh boy.

How will our kids know to duck if they’ve never gotten nailed in the head with a ball?

I wonder if there will be a zero tolerance policy. Cubby searches? Nannyism hurts children. It’s funny, in a few years the same school district will probably be handing these kids condoms and telling them to go out and play.