The CDC just announced that the U.S. birth rate is at an all time low. Yay us.

We finally did it. The scourge of humanity (namely babies) is on the run as the number of babies born in the country declined for the sixth straight year.

The country’s birth rate dipped to 62.5 births per 1,000 women between ages 15 and 44 in 2013. That is the lowest ever and it’s ten percent lower than the birth rate just seven years ago, which was 69.3 per 1,000 women.

In comparison the birth rates in 1909 (when Christians ruled everything and filled the country with back alleys and coat hangers) was 126.8.

The only group that saw an increase in birth rate is women over 30.

If only we get a little lower we’ll be able to make humanity disappear altogether. Then the world will be a better place.

*subhead*Birth rate.*subhead*