If you can’t beat them, join them. (Note: For those satirically challenged, please see the definition of parody)
Rome — Pope Benedict, a former Hitler youth, will tell Roman Catholic priests in coming days that they can say mass in Latin— a dead language the no one knows anymore—as a concession to right wing extremists in the church, known as traditionalists.See Related Story.
Summorum Pontificum a Blow to Sinners, Hell-Based Community Groups.
——Papal document damages relations with sinners and demons.
The decree by the Pope, a former Hitler youth, is known as a Motu Proprio. This cryptic latin phrase can be loosely translated “I can do whatever I want because I am the Pope and you can’t stop me.”
The Latin Mass, also known as the Tridentine mass, is a product of the ‘dark ages’ and was understandably jettisoned by the reforms of the Second Vatican Council. The latin mass is said by the priest with his back to the congregation whispering secret prayers that only he can understand. In the Tridentine mass the laity does not participate at all , so they often turn to knitting, macramé, or checkers to pass the time.
The move by the Pope, a former Hitler youth, has raised concern about reviving parts of the old liturgy that Jews consider anti-Semitic, gays consider homo-phobic, women consider sexist, dwarves consider anti-dwarfic (communion rails are too high), and priests consider too difficult to learn.
The publication of this document is to be accompanied by a letter from the Pope, a former Hitler youth, to individual bishops explaining why he is doing this against their will and better judgment.
French Cardinal Singe de Reddition commented, “We are très disturbed by this action by the Pope, a former Hitler youth. We are très, très upset about this. We just managed to get all these people to stop coming to church and we are très afraid that the Churches will fill up again. If that happens, the rest of Europe is sure to look down on us, you know, the way we look down on everyone else.”
It is widely believed that the Pope, a former Hitler youth, is restoring the mass as a copout to the right wing group known as Lefebvrists and that this constitutes a complete rejection of all the reforms of Vatican II.
It remains unclear at this time, since the exact contents of the documents are still unknown, how long it will be before the Church sets up the Inquisition again. Details should be available in “a few days.”
June 30, 2007 at 6:16 pm
Well, I guess it’s better to be a Hitler Youth than a child molester, like 90% of the Church. Wait, we don’t know that Benedict isn’t a child molester or sympathiser, do we?
Parody! Can’t complain!!! Ha ha.
June 30, 2007 at 6:18 pm
Chuckle.
I *do* know from sitting years of living in eastern Pennsylvania that as a group, your typical SuperCatholic often has nice things to say about Hitler, or at least bad things to say about the Spanish or others moving into the neighborhood.
June 30, 2007 at 7:08 pm
Patrick – I hate to inform you of your ignorance but the hitler youth was mandatory for all boys regardless if you liked it or not.
Secondly – There was a church before Vatican II and it had more class than it does now.
VIVA IL PAPPA BENEDICTO!
June 30, 2007 at 7:49 pm
THX,
Please read the disclaimer for the satirically challenged.
June 30, 2007 at 7:57 pm
Leticia,
I know, I would probably make editor in no time!
July 1, 2007 at 2:24 pm
Très is the right spelling even for the “reformers”
July 1, 2007 at 6:12 pm
Never could get my accents right…
July 1, 2007 at 7:16 pm
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July 2, 2007 at 11:55 am
What’s so funny. As a German soldier the pope could have gotten hold of some weapons and stopped the holocaust.
July 2, 2007 at 5:18 pm
Excellent post! I will link to it on my blog.
July 2, 2007 at 5:34 pm
There are so many other things in this fallen world that can be made fun of. Those commenting with compliments are obviously not Catholics. A Catholic does not use humor to mock the Church. We do have a sense of humor but there is nothing funny about the crisis in the Church and the matter of salvation of souls.
July 2, 2007 at 5:39 pm
Anon,
This piece is intended to lampoon the media coverage of the Pope and the Church.
Catholics need to keep their sense of humor too, yes?
July 2, 2007 at 5:39 pm
The person who wrote this article is a complete moron and knows nothing about what they are writing about;
July 2, 2007 at 6:06 pm
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July 2, 2007 at 7:33 pm
I understand this was meant to be humorous, but last night I watched the DVD of a workshop on Active, Conscious and Full participation in the Liturgy given by my parish priest. During the 40 minute presentation he stopped three times to tell the audience and that includes those of us watching the video, to beware, “there are forces trying to take your rights (as pertain to the liturgy)away from you. They are trying to make you subjects again rather than the royal priesthood that you are.” That was the first warning, twice more he reiterated the warning. For that reason, I don’t think satire like this, while it may be funny, is appropriate at this time.
I find it hard to believe that the ‘war’ between the older generation of priests and the young ‘pre-Vatican II priests’as they like to call them, is any less strident than it is here in the Diocese of Bridgeport, CT. We have people teaching RCIA who treat our diocesan seminary as a foreign agent…”they have an agenda…”.
I don’t know about that…some of them hold the host very high and for quite a long time, does that constitute taking our rights from us? I don’t know. Why do priests and DREs etc who know perfectly well what ad orientum means tell us, ‘the priest turns his back on us’? Did they always? I don’t know, but I just finished Chadwick’s history of the Early Church and I was amazed and uplifted by the fact that so many of the prayers and words we say at Mass today, were the very ones being said as early as the 2nd century.
Would I like to see more chant and Palestrina, absolutely. I have been to a high sung Nuovo Ordus Mass and it was beautiful and uplifting. Do I think that allowing those who love the old Mass to enjoy it once in a while or even every Sunday for that matter, is a plot, please!
We have so many rites in the Church, if we shouldn’t have the Tridentine Mass why have the Byzantine Liturgy?
While I think I understand the young priests, I don’t think they are bucking to keep the laity silent and I resent the fact that the older priests don’t talk to them but disparage them.
July 2, 2007 at 7:47 pm
Chris,
Respectfully, it is for exactly the reasons you state that I think make humor important.
First, this is a parody of the media and the wacky and biased coverage that they give to issues such as this. The absurdity of how they cover this needs to be pointed out. Doing it in a humorous way can be effective too.
Secondly, we must remember that the Holy Spirit is in charge and we should remain joyful always. Let’s not take things so seriously that we cannot have a laugh here and there.
July 2, 2007 at 8:41 pm
I’m a traditional Catholic, and I thought it was funny!
July 2, 2007 at 11:40 pm
I think the French Cardinal’s quote was authentic…
=P
July 3, 2007 at 1:33 am
There is nothing more sickening than someone who hasn’t a clue as to what is humor trying to be funny while in the process of insulting that which is most holy: the traditional Latin Mass, a Mass that dates back in all essentials to the time of Pope Gregory the great in the 6th century and beyond, the Mass of the saints and martyrs. Crawl back under your rock.
July 3, 2007 at 2:09 am
Thanks,
Just for that you are not coming to my birthday party (under my rock, of course)