Shhh. Don’t tell anyone about this. But here’s the plan to bankrupt Planned Parenthood.
You know the “conscience rule” which is scheduled to take effect tomorrow, on President Bush’s last day in office. According to the rule, doctors can refuse to take part in certain medical procedures, abortions for examples, if said procedures are against their religious beliefs or moral convictions.
A bunch of states are suing because they think conscience should play no role in anybody’s actions, I guess. But if it’s upheld here’s the plan to take down Planned Parenthood.
I say we all go to medical school and become doctors, get hired by Planned Parenthood, and then on our first day we’ll break the news to them that it’s against our religion to administer birth control or perform abortion. AND THEY CAN’T FIRE US…unless they catch us making long distance calls from the break room.
I’m not sure yet how we’ll get the money for medical school but this is the age of Obama. We’ll all apply for grants or something.
Planned Parenthood will go broke and that’ll be some kind of victory, right? Sure. That is, until they get a bailout from Obama and Congress passes it.
But wait, that’s when Part two of my ingenious plan kicks in. Then we’ll all go to Law school and become millionaires who run for office, get elected, and vote against the bailout.
It’s all so simple.
Please don’t call because I think they’re bugging my phones but please donate mad amounts of cash to CMR to implement this plan or sign up in the combox. First, I’ve got to find somebody to watch my five children. And I’ll probably need some tutors too.
January 19, 2009 at 6:27 pm
brilliant! count me in!
~Zee
January 19, 2009 at 6:28 pm
The scary part is how reasonable your plan sounds when contrasted to the bovine excrement coming from Washington.
January 19, 2009 at 7:16 pm
Except that an employer can fire someone during the probationary period (up to 90 days) for any reason whatsoever, or no reason at all, unless the employee had previously been promised that he would only be fired for cause.
I also am under the impression that most abortionists working for PP are contractors and nothing more.
January 19, 2009 at 7:29 pm
My wife and I have also developed a plot to overthrow RvW, best summed up in this bumper sticker slogan:
I’m pro-life, I vote, and so will all my children.
January 19, 2009 at 7:31 pm
That’s Part three. Our plan is now intergenerational brilliance.
January 19, 2009 at 7:35 pm
Said Longshanks of the Scots:
“If we can’t get them out, we’ll breed them out.”
January 19, 2009 at 7:52 pm
Hey, I've watched enough Law & Order to figure out the lawyer thing, and enough Scrubs to believably pass myself off as a doctor… It's a foolproof plan, really.
January 19, 2009 at 8:18 pm
I’ve often wondered if the thousands of people who read Catholic blogs searched google for terms that bring up PP ads and clicked on a few of them every day, would put any kind of a dent in their funds?
January 19, 2009 at 8:20 pm
Or maybe find a way to get on PP mailing lists, and when they ask for donations mail the pre-paid envelope back filled with something heavy.
January 19, 2009 at 9:56 pm
Mike in CT: “I’m pro-life, I vote, and so will all my children.”
Brilliant! It’s only the first month of ’09, but I’d happily give you the Bumper Sticker of the Year Award right here, right now.
Sadly, I don’t think the pro-death camp will breed themselves out of existence anytime soon – but it’s bound to happen given that the marital act is just another form of entertainment for them. In the meantime, the pro-life camp shall remain faithful to the admonition “go forth and multiply”, and in due course will inherit the earth!
It’s brilliant, brilliant I tell you! Bwahahahahaha!
(Sorry, my mad scientist act got a little out of hand there.)
January 19, 2009 at 9:59 pm
Hey, wait a minute, I think we need another step.
We have to become community organisers before we become doctors. Then we’ll probably get to go to med school for free and do basically whatever we want. People may even decide we’re the coolest thing since sliced bread. It adds just that one extra layer of teflon to the plan…..
January 19, 2009 at 10:30 pm
Brian Walden:
Won’t that first idea INCREASE funds for PP?
Your second idea is great; but is it legal?
January 20, 2009 at 12:43 am
The only problem is Obambi will over turn it by Executive Order his first weeks in office. Mark my words…
January 20, 2009 at 3:27 am
Brendan, not ads on PP’s website. Ads that they pay for on search engines to help direct people to their sites – which are usually on a pay per click basis. I have no idea how the specifics of it work, but bloggers who get enough traffic to have ads might know how their priced.
About the prepaid mailers being legal? I don’t know. Maybe if you sent the envelope back filled with enough pennies that the postage costs more than the amount you send. That way you’re legitimately sending a response to their donation request.
January 20, 2009 at 2:47 pm
Thanks Eric, but wifey gets the credit. She’s full of ’em and styles herself a master punographer. A baby onesie that says, “I’m a sucker for breast milk” and the like.
Brian, a lady I know always sends back prepaid mailers from every organization with pro-life pamphlets. They have to open the envelopes and you never know who is opening the mail…
Regarding the PP ad idea though, I’m sure they would spin it to get more donations, as obviously many people are interested in their services, but either cannot pay for abortions themselves and need “gift certificates” or are being talked out of their “rights” by the anti-choicers.
January 20, 2009 at 8:25 pm
Sign me up!