A federal judge, clearly responding to an urgent threat of “Secondhand Jesus” infecting young people today, ruled that a state law requiring a moment of silence in public schools is unconstitutional, saying it crosses the line separating church and state.

The country is finally taking some much-needed steps to protect our children from the ravages of secondhand Jesus which have been known to infect children with ideas about abstinence, tolerance, and charity.

Young children are especially susceptible to the effects of “Secondhand Jesus.” Recent studies have indicated that there is no risk-free level of “Secondhand Jesus” exposure and even brief exposures can be harmful to children.

According to the Associated Press:

“The statute is a subtle effort to force students at impressionable ages to contemplate religion,” U.S. District Judge Robert W. Gettleman said in his ruling Wednesday.

The ruling came in a lawsuit designed to bar schools from enforcing the Illinois Silent Reflection and Student Prayer Act. It was filed by talk show host Rob Sherman, an outspoken atheist, and his daughter, Dawn, a high school student.

Judges are essentially ruling that you cannot mention God or refer to Jesus in public under threat of law for fear of contaminating happy atheists with secondhand Jesus.

Sometimes I wonder, if atheists are so happy why are they always filing lawsuits?