The nation’s Healer, Barack Obama, diagnosed 46 percent of Americans in last night’s national press conference as sufferers of a newly discovered disease called “ideological blockage.”
When asked about those who are against the stimulus, Obama responded with his diagnosis: “I get a sense . . . there is some ideological blockage there.”
If you fear you might suffer from “ideological blockage” check for these symptoms and ask yourself these questions:
– Do you not feel euphoric (or leg tingles) when you see Obama on television?
– Are you concerned how the government, which has already emptied the pockets of your children, is now robbing from your metaphorical grandchildren?
– Are you concerned that the nutjobs in charge of Iran are declaring victory over America because of the President’s overtures towards negotiation?
– Does having someone in government with the title “National Coordinator of Health Information Technology,” scare you out of your mind?
– Do you believe drilling for oil will help us get more energy?
– Do you think Obama going out onto the world stage is like the 135 pound white collar criminal walking into gen-pop for the first time?
– Do you have trouble believing that Obama is more “pro-life?” than George W. Bush?
If the answer to any of these questions is yes, you might be suffering from ideological blockage.
According to White House experts, “Ideological blockage” is believed to cut off blood to your heart and sends it to your brain instead.
The only known remedy available at this point is Ideoplasty where the surgeon cuts into your rear end and goes into your wallet, relieving any extraneous pressure there. That is followed with consistent doses of Obama’s Red Kool-Aid until you reach the desired effect.
Warning: If Ideoplasty fails and ideological blockage re-occurs the only remedy is a public school education or re-education summer camp (which may be permanent.)
If suffering from “ideological blockage” stay away from writings of the Founding Fathers, do not get pregnant as it could only hurt the economy more and confuse your priorities, and do not attempt to earn more than $500,000 a year.
Picture courtesy dontvoteobama.net