It’s pilot season at CMR Entertainment Corporation and we’re in the midst of creating a few new shows for the fall lineup. Here’s the new lineup for the upcoming CMR channel. Hope you enjoy our sitcoms this year.
Those Wacky Uighurs – If you’re looking for some jest in your jihad, don’t change that channel. It’s a fish out of water tale as four suspected Chinese terrorists land right smack in the middle of paradise in a pink house in Bermuda. Hilarity ensues as four of the zaniest fishes out of water adapt to life in paradise and scheme about ways to break back into their former jail Gitmo because life was easier there.
Episode 1: In the most wacky case of miscommunication since Three’s Company, one of the jihadists overhears swordplay and the screams of a woman and jumps to conclusions. In his efforts to help cover up a messy slaughter he raises the attention of the local politically incorrect but kindly old sheriff who calls them “The Chinamen.” In the end the joke is on everyone because it turns out that Ahmed, the womanizing terrorist, was just trying to cut free the beautiful girl next door who mistakenly handcuffed herself to the garage door.
The Queen and the Dream!: It’s a new Odd couple but this time it’s the Queen of England who’s forced to live with the American first lady after a dirty nuclear bomb from North Korea destroys Buckingham Palace.
Episode 1: The two who’ve made no secret they don’t get along…AT ALL…find themselves locked in the basement of Buckinghman Palace together after the dirty bomb goes off. Will they be found? After drawing a line across the middle of the room, listening to speeches on their Ipods and watching discount movies the two are forced to work together to get out of the basement. Hilarity ensues.
The Incredible Kmiec: In this hour long weekly drama, mild mannered Catholic law professor Doug Kmiec is overnight transformed into a pro-death fanatic. While he’s hurting everyone who comes across his path, a ragtag team of theologians and law professors chase him across the world but not to harm him but to save him from himself.
Episode 1: In an election year mishap, Kmiec is transformed into the infamous monster who can’t see logic and is enraged at even the slightest question. In this episode, our theologians and law professors have cornered him logically but Kmiec misunderstands and only seeks to get away one more time. Will he escape? Will he just intentionally not answer the question? Will he receive the White House appointment he’s so longed for before his old friends can save him from himself?
Oh No Joe!: It’s a modern day live action Mr. Magoo. Follow Joe Biden as he stumbles, mumbles and bumbles his way through the White House and world affairs. And watch as the White House tries to silence Joe but they’ll all soon learn that you can’t sink the irrepressible Joe!
Episode 1: This coming of age tale deals with Joe going to a 7-11 and dealing with a difficult to understand Indian, Joe coaxing a paralyzed man to walk, and being amazed at how clean and articulate an African-American can be and other wacky miscommunications.
If you’ve got any other ideas for great shows for pilot season please let us know. You will be given no credit, no money, and be shunned by the industry which we’re pretty sure is common practice for dealing with writers.
June 16, 2009 at 4:23 pm
O-44-24
Because Jack Bauer isn't man enough for the job, the Obama show, 24-7, 365 days a year. Wait, isn't that MSNBC? of is it ABC, I get confused….
June 16, 2009 at 4:38 pm
I predict the CMR Network will fold in a few years and will have to merge with the Holy Whapping Television Network (HWTN). Kinda like UPN (United Paramount Network) and the WB (Warner Bros.) merged and became the CW (whatever that stands for).
CWN: Creative Whapping Network? It could happen!
June 16, 2009 at 5:19 pm
EXTREME MAKEOVER, WHITE HOUSE EDITION.
See the Obama's shop the local thrift shops for cheap swag furniture, faux leopard skin rugs,
clay vases, and hot pink curtains.
The outside of the White House will be painted in "rainbow" colors with pretty purple ponies
pooping butterflies. The work will be done by Obama’s Youth Brigade and supervised by Acorn.
Also, coming soon to a network to you….PIMP MY RIDE– the presidential limo edition.
June 16, 2009 at 7:50 pm
Yes! I love CMR! "Oh No Joe!" was definitely the best lol.
June 16, 2009 at 7:54 pm
Make Me a Super-Veep – Sarah Palin and her cadre of designers and sytlists (all reformed homosexuals) groom contestants ranging from local teen beauty-contest winners, to local tween beauty-contest winners on how to dress, walk, wear makeup and speak in tongues like a real vice-presidential candidate. The winner gets a $2,000 shopping spree at Niemens; all paid for by contributions to the Republican party! (winner also recieves the VP nomination for the 2008 GOP ticket).
June 16, 2009 at 8:11 pm
The (oval) Office – Just like the US version of the UK original, not to be outdone, DC is putting out their own new version! Watch out for the wacky hijinks of Michael (played by Barack Obama) as he tries week after week to convince his boss, Jan (Hilary Clinton) to allow him to spend trillions of dollars on theme "parties" such as healthcare, financial bailout, auto bailout and of course Eid.
Episode 1.1 – Dwight's (Joseph Biden) pychophantic behavior inspires Andy (Robert Gibbs) to take up cross-dressing and alcoholism in a bid for attention. Meanwhile, Pam (Kathleen Sebelius) is torn between leaving the "office" to be closer to her hometown abortion-mill and continuing her burgeoning romance with Jim (Emanuel Rahm).
June 16, 2009 at 10:37 pm
How about Storm Chasers: Presidential Edition…
Captain Obama leads his dedicated team of storm czars on an expedition of epic proportions. Watch as they bring stacks of cash to offer to the storm gods for appeasement.
Hurricane Fanny and Freddie (the storm czars couldn't decide on a single name so they gave two names to be gender specific) hit with an alarming rate in spite of the stacks of cash that were sucked up into the funnel
The great GM whirlpool even managed to emit a flushing noise as the green paper circled around to the bottom of the tank.
Next week, Captain Obama tackles the health care earthquake zone with his new ideas for injecting the money directly into the epicenter.
June 16, 2009 at 10:48 pm
Dougie Heretic, PHD – (alternate title: "Dougie Loves Barry"). Can a washed-up wannabe Catholic professor at Protestant University maintain Catholic moral teaching while supporting a pro-abortion presidential candidate? Obviously, no. But watch as he tries, week after week.
Episode 1.5 – "Where's my appointment?" It's kanoodling galore as Dougie turns up the shmooze to try and secure himself an ambassadorship to the Vatican.
June 17, 2009 at 4:53 am
Riot!