The case of a the kindergarten age child who was refused an opportunity to return to his local Catholic school because his parents are openly gay is creating a nationwide stir, and has even faithful Catholics on opposing sides in attempting to ascertain the right thing to do.
This is a sad situation because you’re dealing with a child who is not at fault at all. If you’re interested, here’s some excellent thoughts on this issue from around the Catholic blogosphere:
In a post entitled “Moses and the Burning Bush” Fr. Bill Breslin, the priest who made the decision, writes about his decision making.
Jimmy Akin sees to the heart of the issue at the National Catholic Register.
Fr. Z writes at length about it at his blog. As always, Fr. Z is a great source for information.
Fr. James Martin has some pointed questions to ask because that’s what Jesuits do. But in fairness they are good questions and ones I had to sort through as well.
One thought I saw mentioned in a few comboxes I found just laughable. A number of people have said that this case is exactly why Catholic schools are suffering from lack of admissions. Is anybody really arguing that Catholic schools are suffering from TOO MUCH adherence to Catholic doctrine? Come on.
The whole thing is a sad situation but unfortunately I think it’s one we’re going to be seeing increasingly.
March 10, 2010 at 6:04 pm
The problem with Fr Martin's questions is comparing the public action of the two lesbians with the private actions concerning the people in his hypothetical situations. There is no comparison.
March 10, 2010 at 6:06 pm
Thanks for the links. This debate has been raging on a friends' Facebook page for a few days already. I've yet to comment, having abstained from Facebook for Lent, but your links will help me prepare to answer. My friend is a gay, recently sober atheist, "married" with two adopted children. You can imagine what the debate is going to be like. I stay with it because he is an old friend, and I see him suffering from the choices he makes, although he is loathe to admit that. Mostly I keep engaged in his life as a prayer reminder for "his" children. Can you imagine what their formation is like growing up around gay S&M, atheism & alcoholism? It breaks my heart.
March 10, 2010 at 6:10 pm
I support this decision if (and it's a big if) the same policy applies to the children of invalidly married couples. An invalid marriage is an invalid marriage whether it's a divorced and remarried couple, a Catholic who doesn't follow form, or homosexual couple – it's publicly declaring yourself married when you aren't. An invalidly married heterosexual couple is just as much in violation of the diocese's policy that parents can't live in open discord with Catholic teaching in faith and morals as a homosexual couple
If heterosexuals hadn't been trashing marriage for decades we wouldn't be having the fights over so-called gay marriage we're having today.
March 10, 2010 at 6:43 pm
Rampant divorce and re-marriage has become a very slippery slope indeed. Where does a Bishop draw the line to stop the skid?
I've yet to read what the motives of the lesbian couple are. Why would they choose to send their children to a Catholic school, knowing the Church's teaching on homosexuality?
Children of homosexual parents are punished as it is by being children of homosexuals. Their lives are filled with confusion and suffering. Does the Church extend a loving mantle to protect these children or are they thrown to the world?
This is indeed a very sad state of affairs and honestly I have no idea what I would have the Bishop do in this case.
March 10, 2010 at 7:15 pm
Brian, I sort of agree with you, but only sort of.
It is not immediately apparent if a heterosexual married couple is in an invalid marriage. If it is widely known, then the school should require that the parents fix the situation (get annulment(s) and have the new marriage convalidated). The school could implement a policy requiring that married couples provide proof of the validity of their marriage, but in the case of a lesbian couple there is no documentation that would prove their "marriage" to be valid.
One could say that the school policy is currently being applied only in cases of obvious invalidity.
A question I would have, though, is how the school would handle a situation where the parents of a child are divorced and the non-custodial parent is widely known to be invalidly remarried.
Maurisa, Fr. Breslin stated that he doesn't want to put the child in a situation where the morals taught at the Catholic school alienate her from her "parents". The only reason I can see for a lesbian couple to send their child to a Catholic school is to create just the sort of media reaction we're seeing. It's not like the teaching of the Catholic Church are unknown on this topic.
March 10, 2010 at 7:22 pm
Always go with compassion. This child should have not been denied.
March 10, 2010 at 7:35 pm
Matthew Siekierski, I see your point, but the Church considers marriage a public act. It is well within the school's right to ask cohabitating couples if they are validly married when they attempt to enroll their children and ask them to rectify the situation if necessary.
When the rule is only applied to homosexual couples because the school doesn't ask a simple question it only lends support (however unmerited) to the claim that the Church discriminates against homosexuals. Are there other examples of the Archdiocese of Denver refusing to admit students based on the "open discord" clause?
March 10, 2010 at 7:46 pm
Kim, you would render a false compassion. Compassion or love divorced from the objective moral truth are not compassion or love at all, but impostors, forgeries, cheap imitations of the real thing.
March 10, 2010 at 7:48 pm
Also, Kim, your exercise of "compassion" would be lacking in compassion to the other students and to the parents who want their children to be taught in a faithfully, authentically Catholic environment. Why should they be made to suffer because two lesbians don't respect Catholic faith or morality?
March 10, 2010 at 8:05 pm
Brian Walden, you seem to be a genius!
No kidding–wise words!
March 10, 2010 at 8:12 pm
Brian Walden, does the Archdiocese (or the school) require such of heterosexual couples? I really don't know, and haven't heard one way or the other. Have there been other cases where a child has been refused admittance because of the manifest sin of his parents or the open discord that would be caused? Again, I'm unaware of the answer to this question. I would think any non-Catholic child attending a Catholic school would potentially fall within the discord decision.
But, under any type of regulation, some person will be the first to be affected.
March 10, 2010 at 8:16 pm
Sandra:
If we are talking about the parents, then the most compassionate thing to do would be to hold firm to Catholic teaching. However, we are talking about an innocent–an innocent who should not be made to suffer because of the parents. The child needs to be looked at as a human being, with desires, needs and wants just like any other child. I see no reason why the school could not have met with the parents and told them straight out that they will accept the child, and that the child will be taught Catholic doctrine. And they could be told explicitly what this means. Then the parents get to decide how to proceed with the child.
Let's also not forget that the same Archdiocese, to my knowledge does not hold such rules for children of remarried but not annulled parents; or for parents who have never been married (heterosexual).
The policy of the Archdiocese, while still wanting to hold to Catholic teaching, is wrongheaded. The pastor made an interesting statement:
"I hate the fact that I had to make a choice between being loving and protecting the teachings of the church."
The problem is, there is no such choice. Protecting the teachings of the Church IS being loving. He wasn't protecting the teachings of the Church, he is protecting an administrative decision. I understand that he has to abide by his bishop. God knows, I would not want him to do any other thing. This is why I am saying that the Archdiocese is wrong. It is not acting out of love; it is acting out of maintaining the status quo.
The most loving thing would have been for the Archdiocese to revoke it's policy or at least allow latitude on the local level to assess individual situations. Then this priest could have done the most loving thing in this challenging situation: educate the parents on what the child will be taught, explicitly stating he or she will be taught that same sex relations are wrong. Then let the parents make the decision on whether or not to send their child there.
March 10, 2010 at 8:17 pm
"Always go with compassion. This child should have not been denied."
Compassion or "Charity without truth is mere sentimentality."
March 10, 2010 at 8:32 pm
Anonymous:
EXACTLY! This is why the most charitable thing would have been to let this child in the school and teach her the truths of the faith.
March 10, 2010 at 9:05 pm
(This will cause some angst among those with weaker faith and acceptance of the teachings of the Church)
First, I have no problem "punishing" the two children of these lesbian "parents." (If that's what you want to call it.) There are many instances in the Bible, notably King David losing his son due to his (King David's) sin. Did God do wrong? (You better think hard about your answer.)
Secondly, only one one of the two woman can be the parent. You can't have two mommies. If you can, why not more? How about 5? It doesn't work. So the notion that these two women are "parents" is incorrect. Continuing to argue about this using those terms is ignoring reality.
Third, these two poor kids are being deprive of their right to a father and are in daily exposure to deviant perversions and sin. That's what the Church teaches. This is the Truth or it is not. If it is and I believe the Christ's Church in the matter, it's the "parents" that lack all compassion for the two kids, not the parish and Church. To say otherwise is to deny the Church and to uplift their public and unrepentant sins.
March 10, 2010 at 9:14 pm
I do not know where punishing the child for the sins of the parents is a Christian virtue. Were it my parish I would tell them what I tell the parents in my school, "do NOT expect me to tell them homosexuality, divorce, skipping Mass, and such is okay because you do it…in fact I WILL tell the opposite…that it is not okay. I'll show them where these teachings come from, why they exist, and why it is important not to follow such examples when they get older…and you can explain to them why you call yourself a good Catholic even though you are not living like one." I have had a few leave after that talk, I have had a few ignore that talk, but the majority of those that heard it have gotten their act together."
March 10, 2010 at 9:19 pm
btw…first 'parents' should be in the singular; unless some advance in medicine has made it possible to reproduce with only two eggs.
March 10, 2010 at 9:22 pm
The priest made the right decision. Pray for him and thank Our Lady for Her protection of him.
In my own Washington, DC neighborhood 3 years ago, the "pastor" charged with responsibility of a parish and its school, permitted 2 homosexual men, not "married" (but hey!, in recent, related news they can now get "married" here!)to enroll their "child" in the school. What a mess. The principal – a poster-marm for liberal, secular teachers' unions- saw the enrollment as a teaching opportunity for the school children! And the mess continues and metastasizes. Now these "fathers" are able to "marry" each other if they damned well please. So, the new "pastor" gets to face the decision of expelling a child when the poor kid should not have been admitted in the first place. My bet, though, is that nothing will happen and that the school children will be treated to another teaching opportunity!
Folks, including some writers above, have that wishy/hopey thing going, thinking that a human being (in this case a school child)should not have to suffer the implications of other human beings' decisions. Oh yeah? Since when?
Epilogue: My children enjoy their new schools where thay have been for the last 3 years…
March 10, 2010 at 9:26 pm
Fr Bill P:
Apparently, you and I, according to "Anonymous" probably have a weaker faith and acceptance of Church teachings.
Anonymous:
Your version of acceptance of Church teachings is not mine. I accept all the teachings of the Church with no caveats. However, it appears we differ in how those teachings are applied. I like a less Pharisaical approach.
March 10, 2010 at 9:29 pm
My problem is that the penalty for the homosexuality is being leveled against the children and not the adults. Penalties are to applied to those who have erred, not on 3rd parties.