I’m going to explain this in chronological order. It’s the only way. I could go back and forth thematically but it’s best just to tell it like it happened.

Last week I woke with a start. I realized like I do every week that I forgot to take out the garbage. So I woke the four girls and the boy by dashing into the room, turning on the lights, yelling at the girls, and pulling blankets off the boy and throwing them across the room because that’s the only way he’ll get up.

They’re not scared because they get this fire drill wake up call once a week (on Garbage day) so they know not to panic. I raced down the stairs, ran outside into the driveway in my bare feet and stepped into… I’m still not sure whether it was the remains of my wife’s Chinese Food or soup slop but it didn’t feel nice underfoot. I looked up and my driveway looked like the morning after a frat party. Garbage everywhere.

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