Judging Christmas songs can be difficult. You must use an entirely different metric than you would when judging an ordinary song. Now, there are many songs that actually don’t have much to do with the birth of Christ that I can enjoy. The one about Snoopy and the Red Baron. I’ll sing along to that any day in December. The Grinch song. I’ve never once turned it off.

So I’m just telling you that I’m not that guy who rages against the radio if the Christmas song doesn’t have the word “manger” in it. But there are some Christmas songs that are just the opposite of Christmas songs which are for some reasons beyond my comprehension are played incessantly in December in between “O Holy Night” and “Little Drummer Boy.” Songs that are sadder and crueler than your typical Ultimate Fighting Championship undercard.

These are so bad it’s like the world lost a bet.

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