A headline from the Daily Telegraph informs us that “LaSalle Catholic College confirms it is a bully-free school after polling students, parents and teachers.” The kids were told to write that…or else. Just kidding about that last part.

In related news, a small Catholic school in the UK has completely eradicated all negative issues from the human condition. Yay.

C’mon, no bullying at all? You’re telling me all these kids looked adoringly at their assistant principal without being a little forced? “Ah, look at the way he randomly points to pictures without even looking. He’s our hero.”

And that’s the assistant principal. If these kids are that much in awe of their assistant principal, think of the level of shield your eyes adoration they must hold this guy’s boss with.

You know what, if I had a kid I’m not sure I’d send them there. Dealing with bullies is a necessary part of growing up.