I’ll Drive Clarence Thomas Around in his RV if He Agrees Not to Retire

I’m a Clarence Thomas fan. I’ll admit it. The guy has stood up to the worst aspects of this country and not only survived but thrived with dignity.

And now it’s being reported that he wants to retire from the court come November and travel around the country in an RV with his wife. That right there is exactly why you love the guy. He’s one of the nine most powerful people in the country and he wants to leave it to travel in an RV with his wife.

This is exactly why we want him to stay, isn’t it? He’s got his priorities right. Let’s face it, the country needs him.

His possible retirement is a very scary prospect. Losing a conservative member of the court and replacing him with yet another liberal could be the death of the country. (And no, I’m not exaggerating.)

Here’s the deal, I’ll make an offer. If Clarence Thomas agrees to stay on I’ll offer to drive him and his wife around in the RV when he’s too old to drive. Now, there may be some days that I have to stop off at softball games but maybe you guys could drive them around when I can’t. We’ll set up a schedule and everything.

Who’s in?

Update: Clarence Thomas’ wife is saying there’s no truth to the rumor that her husband is considering retiring. Good, because I’ve got a lot of places to be. I don’t have time to cart you around all over the country.