Firstly, Democrats are already arguing that the lizard people should get to vote via mail…from other universes.
And Republicans are wondering if this will help you forget we’re still at war in Iran.
The 21st century isn’t what I hoped it’d be.
Gather ’round, because out of all the dizzying, technocratic headlines we’ve been pelted with this year, this one is the absolute glittering cherry on top of the madness cake.
We are being told that government insiders summoned a group of pastors to a clandestine Airbnb in Tennessee. Why? To give them a briefing on reptilian aliens. Yes! Lizard folk! Scaly interdimensional tourists!
The official narrative is that the “Powers That Be” are trembling with concern. They’re worried that if a space-faring iguana pops down and says, “Actually, dude, your theology is a bit off,” the global Christian community will suddenly collapse into a heap of existential dread.
Now, listen to me: I’d question the motives of a suit-and-tie bureaucrat or the rambling of a telepathic gecko long before I started doubting the profound and divine words of Christ. Since when did the government become the benevolent protector of our spiritual well-being? It’s a farce, isn’t it? A pantomime of protection.
But let’s look at the logic here. You’re telling me that the Deep State is fully aware of the existence of cold-blooded, extraterrestrial entities, yet they’re still out there obsessing over polling data and the next election cycle?
“Oh, never mind the cosmic shift in our understanding of biological reality, Mildred! We’ve got to make sure the swing states are locked in for 2026!”
It’s preposterous. It’s the ultimate distraction while the machinery of control keeps grinding away. they refuse to release the Epstein files but hey, here’s some files on lizard people who want to let you know that Jesus isn’t real.
Then again, my friends, let’s pause for a moment of reflection. If we entertain the possibility, doesn’t it suddenly provide a shimmering, scaly clarity to the political landscape?
When you look at the uncanny, wax-work movements of a Gavin Newsom or the baffling, unblinking endurance of a Nancy Pelosi, doesn’t the “Lizard Person” theory start to feel less like science fiction and more like a very plausible biological diagnosis?
So…keep your eyes on the skies…and the airbnbs.
Oh, and they’re demons. Totally demons.
May 7, 2026 at 11:51 am
I’ve maintained for several years that if we are to be deceived it would have to be with something big. I remember when Erich Von Daniken wrote “Chariot of the Gods and the big sensation it caused, writing basicially that we were descended from extra terrestrials. This theory has lasted since at least the seventies. Imagine if we are confronted with ‘proof’ of aliens, such as gadgets, transportation, cures that seem miraculous, etc… All without done without God. You know many would be deceived by this, would WANT to be deceived because they have nothing to hold on too, hope for in this life. I can see the great deception happening easily.
That creature looks like the one in an episode of the original Star Trek that Kirk fought hand to hand.
May 7, 2026 at 11:53 am
I’ve maintained for several years that if we are to be deceived it would have to be with something big. I remember when Erich Von Daniken wrote “Chariot of the Gods and the big sensation it caused, writing basicially that we were descended from extra- terrestrials. This theory has lasted since at least the seventies. Imagine if we are confronted with ‘proof’ of aliens, such as gadgets, transportation, cures that seem miraculous, etc… All done without God. You know many would be deceived by this, would WANT to be deceived because they have nothing to hold on to, hope for in this life. I can see the great deception happening easily.
That creature looks like the one in an episode of the original Star Trek that Kirk fought hand to hand.