A California man who’s been faithfully watching “The Bible” on The History Channel erupted in anger during Easter Sunday mass, accusing the priest of ruining the ending of the high rated miniseries.
“Why would the priest ruin the ending like that,” asked the enraged man after Mass. “At least he could’ve said ‘Spoiler Alert” or something.
John Averyman,30, was attending Mass for the first time since he was a little kid yesterday. He explained: “I was staying with my Mom and her boyfriend Steve and she’s all into God and everything now and she was all like ‘If you’re going to stay under our roof you’re going to go to Church and stuff.”
John complained that he’s been practically been forced to watch The Bible every week. “I don’t have a television in my room so I kinda’ had to watch what Steve and my Mom were watching,” he said. But Averyman said he was surprised to find himself enjoying the miniseries. “I took a film class in college so I can say the special effects were a little lacking and I thought the walking on water thing was a bit much. I mean we kinda’ got the point before that.”
He said he hadn’t read the book that the movie was based on but he’d heard it was a pretty big bestseller.
He did admit that he didn’t know some of the “cool things” that happened in the Bible and he’s been watching it even when his mother and Steve weren’t around. “I was really into it,” he said. “I couldn’t wait to see how it ended.”
Averyman said he couldn’t wait to find out what happened to “Jesus and the gang.”
“I couldn’t wait until Easter Sunday night to find out what happened,” he said. “I was thinking about it to distract myself all during that boring Mass when suddenly I heard the priest mention Jesus and I was all like ‘wait what?'”
And then the priest went right ahead, according to Averyman, and spoiled the ending of the high rated miniseries.
***Spoiler Alert***
Jesus died on the cross and rose from the dead.
“That was pretty rude if you ask me, the priest telling the ending and all,” said Averyman. “Now I know why people don’t go to Church. They spoil everything. It’s kinda’ evil.”
“t’s like the time I overheard someone say the ending to Fight Club at Applebees,” he said. “But you don’ expect that kind of behavior from ‘so called’ Cristians.”
The priest in question after being asked about the incident said he didn’t understand the issue with telling everyone, “Christ has risen.” He said he’s been telling everyone at every Mass and he’s sure that other priests in other masses are doing the same thing.
“It’s no wonder that Catholicism is losing numbers and disappearing entirely,” said a Georgetown University professor. “It shows how out of touch with the times the Church is.”
