For years we have heard the usual suspects clamoring for female ordination. The church has been very clear on the topic, this is not something the church has the power to change. Maybe the church doesn’t have the power, but a few surgeons may.

Leaders of the Roman Catholic Church in England have accused the Government of using new equality laws to force them to ordain transsexuals as priests or allow them to become nuns. No I am not making this up.

By instituting policies that would make it illegal to check if seminarian Bill was baptized as Betty, the government is trying to force the church to ordain women. From the UK times:

The bishops of England and Wales said that proposals to ban “indirect discrimination” against people who have had gender reassignment operations would take away their right to check baptismal and confirmation certificates which would show if candidates for the priesthood, religious life or marriage had a hidden past. The Government plans to change the law so that such records are altered when a person has such an operation. Requesting an exemption, the Archbishop of Cardiff, the Most Rev Peter Smith, said: “Many Christians believe, on strongly held religious grounds, that gender is given before birth and cannot be changed.”

If the government does not grant an exemption to the church, this could open up a Pandora’s box of awkward situations. Picture the scene.

“Hey, great homily father. I really enjoyed it. Can I have a hair sample Father for DNA analysis?”

“What?!? Why?”

“Just wanted to check if you were born a dude or if you needed a little extra help. After the thing with Father Jimmy…um…I mean Father Judy last year, me and a couple other parishioners decided we can’t be too careful.”

“You…You think I might be a woman?”

“Oh…no…not me Father. But one of the ladies from the Rosary Society said you are a really good dancer…and well…you know…you do have big hips for a guy. So can I have the sample?”