The two Bigfoot researchers who claimed to have captured Bigfoot in a freezer, are now claiming to have discovered a real live “Recession” right here in America.
“It was the scariest thing I’ve ever seen,” said one Bigfoot researcher. “It looked like darkness and it reeked of joblessness. And it was standing right in front of us howling and gnashing its teeth and leaving a giant dustbowl in its wake.”
The two are planning to return to the woods to capture the mythical “Recession” and place it in a freezer.
Many economists and journalists who are typically skeptical of unsubstantiated claims of inebriated Southerners, seem to be accepting their story as fact. And even though recent evidence indicates that no recession can likely be found in America today, journalists are all reporting that a Recession has been found. In fact, the second-quarter Gross Domestic Product (GDP) growth was revised sharply upward to 3.3% from the late July’s advance estimate of 1.9%. But reporters are printing as fact that the recession is alive and well in American despite having little or no evidence of it. Journalists are searching out economists who claim to have encountered the Recession and are willing to tell their story.
In coming weeks, a group of economists are planning on heading out into the woods overnight to see if they too can catch sight of The Recession. Some skeptics believe that no matter what happens on their journey, they’re going to come back with some kind of anecdotal evidence that The Recession exists.
A little known fact among Recession hunters is that Presidential nominee Barack Obama once claimed to spot the Recession. “As most experts know, our economy is in a recession,” said Obama. But Obama failed to offer any evidence that the Recession actually existed. This should not be a surprise as Democrat Presidential candidates often see things that don’t exist. In 1992, Bill Clinton said he spotted “the worst economy in 50 years.” Similarly, Dennis Kucinich said he saw a UFO and Jimmy Carter claimed to be attacked by a giant rabbit.
August 28, 2008 at 9:24 pm
so true, so true.
The BBC joyously listed this headline first for a while earlier this afternoon: US GDP rebounds with 3.3% growth. Maybe Obama et al. will listen to more non-Americans.
~Nzie
August 28, 2008 at 10:31 pm
Good news for America = bad news for Democrats. Stock market jumped over 200 points today. Oil futures went down. Does that mean the Democrappy National Convention is nearing a close?
August 29, 2008 at 12:08 am
Not only Mr. Obama sees recession. Also serious economists who are politically very far from the democrats talk about it: one of the great articles from the Ludwig von Mises Institute.
August 29, 2008 at 12:14 am
Is that Harry? And what’s with all the Hendersons?
August 29, 2008 at 1:18 am
Thanks for noticing Matt!
The economy is so Bad even poor Harry is on the soup line.
August 29, 2008 at 1:29 am
Andy,
Recession has a very precise meaning. Look it up. We’re not in one. It’s not a matter of opinion.
August 29, 2008 at 3:51 am
Yeah, listening to Obama talking about the recession and mocking the guy who mentioned that folks are imagining it– on the day it comes out that second quarter grew even more than they thought!
Not shrunk, but *grew.* Again.
August 29, 2008 at 3:19 pm
The economy might be growing somewhere, but it isn’t here right now. (West Central Illinois) There are no jobs unless you want to flip burgers, which is a great place to start, but won’t raise a family. My husband has a full time job and 3 part time jobs. I am now working part time after not working for the last 17 years. Gas prices, food prices, heating oil, electricity, you name it–we can’t make ends meet. And to us, that’s a recession–whether that fits the definition or not.
By the way, I don’t blame the Republicans or the Democrats. I blame greedy people who care not for others. Most times, that group includes me,too, unfortunately.
Sharon
mom to 8
August 29, 2008 at 11:32 pm
I’m with Sharon. After Hillary’s speech the other night Brit Hume commented in apparent bewilderment that “…they make it sound like things are just awful here!” Well come to Michigan. Things ARE just awful, people who have 30 years seniority, who are taking care of elderly parents and have kids in college are finding themselves suddenly unemployed and competing w/ college kids for fast food jobs. They can’t go somewhere else to work because the housing market has crashed, it’s almost impossible to sell a house here for a reasonable price when your neighbor’s house is in forclosure and being auctioned off for 30% of what used to be market value. It’s a nightmare that isn’t going to end anytime soon, and a politician who ignores it does so at his own risk.