So I took the kids out to the mall to shop for Mom two days before Christmas. I want them to know that Christmas is not just about receiving but giving as well.
Now let me ask a weird hypothetical. If I showed up at the Mall wearing only briefs and say my wife showed up in a minuscule bra and panties we’d likely be dragged from the premises and arrested. And rightly so, especially if you’ve seen me in briefs. But no matter what, it’s bad, right? So why is it OK for some of these stores to have huge window displays of essentially naked people. I mean, are these store owners out of their minds. Walking by Abercrombie or Victoria’s Secret is essentially a walking tour of porn for children. Hey kids step on up and peer inside the sick twisted mind of adulthood where we view others as vessels of flesh waiting to be boarded and devoured.
It’s lunacy.
So as we’re passing a bunch of sex-soaked stories, I do my best to distract the kids from the window display. I start singing a loud Christmas carol and they all become embarrassed by me and try to stop me from singing anymore. So for anybody who saw the fat bearded dad singing in front of a ten foot porn window display with children laughing and climbing all over him, it was me.
But here’s the thing. I know my kids saw it. They didn’t mention it. But I know they see it. They see it. They internalize it. They think that window display represents the realm of adulthood. They intuit that adults desire 8-pack abs and 38 D breasts. And kids want to be adults.
Here’s the truth. If a man was caught showing pictures of topless women in pink underwear holding their breasts or men in wet briefs, they’d be arrested. But when a store does it, it’s capitalism.
So a few hours later I’m making the call I never thought I’d make in my life. I call the mall two days before Christmas to complain about the lewd window displays. The funny thing is that while I’m on hold I’m feeling like I’m the crazy one. I’m feeling like “I can’t believe I’ve become the guy who complains about lewd window displays.” I didn’t think I’d ever use the word ‘lewd’ never mind call to complain about aforementioned lewdness. I’m feeling like I have to convince this guy on the phone that I’m not one of these crazy religious Jerry Falwell types. But then it hits me. I’m the sane one. Those displays are crazy to have in front of children. So instead of getting into a morality type conversation with the guy I just decide to speak his language. “I’m just calling to let you know that my family which comes to the mall often will not come back unless you guys stop allowing pornographic window displays.”
So I make the call and I’m feeling proud of myself. And I walk back into the room where the children are watching The Polar Express on ABC Family. And then comes a commercial about some show about a fifteen year old girl who is pregnant. “Fifteen!?” says my nine year old.
“How can you have a baby if you’re not married,” asks my six year old.
They all look at me. “Hey guys Polar Express is back on!” And thanks to my amazing powers of distraction I muddled through yet another awkward moment. But I know my kids. Nothing escapes them. Questions build. They never fade away.
And we wonder why are children are ending up sexualized. It’s simple. Somewhere between the Merry-go-Round and the pretzels they’re seeing and interpreting the adult world. They’re unprotected out there. The adults want too much to be like children and the children want to be adults. It’s time for adults to start acting like adults.
December 29, 2008 at 8:57 pm
Here in Jacksonville thankfully the Frederick of Hollywood and such display windows are rather tame or blocked. At least in the Malls I have been to. The magazines in store display aisle are pornographic for the most part. I practice my military drill “eyes front”
Though when I went to Midnight Mass at the Cathedral one of the ushers was a young women with a tight strapless dress that was very short. I was tempted to address her as Eve and hand her a fig leaf.
December 29, 2008 at 9:03 pm
Like who is Eve? And OMG! Like what is this leaf for? Weirdo.
December 30, 2008 at 4:45 pm
Great post, Matthew. I really like your view on family life — the Catholic Dad side.
We do most of our shopping online. That way, I can monitor what we’re all seeing and the kids still can be “in” on the gifts…
One commenter said to “get over” the fact that “girls don’t have cooties”. Agreed. The Church believes that sex is a beautiful, healthy part of marriage. However, tempting the unmarried, the young and even the married to lust after an image is leading others to sin and, therefore, a sin. Isn’t that why we promote modesty in dress? Women are beautiful. But, like fire in a fireplace, there is a time and a place for everything. And lingerie at the mall isn’t the right time/place.
God Bless!
December 30, 2008 at 6:47 pm
Though the comments of ” Anonymous” above lack maturity and any measure of sincere reflection:
“Wah, wah. God created our beautiful bodies in his own image, but don’t look at them! Sex is shameful! Because…. um… there was this story about a guy and girl and a talking snake and an apple, and… so therefore it’s bad! Get over it and grow up. Girls don’t have cooties.”
-they do bring up a couple common arguments made through a vast ignorance of the Catholic understanding of human sexuality. Anonymous is right to point out that our bodies are beautiful. Hello!! McFly!! No duh!! -Who said they weren’t? Anon, did MTV tell you that Catholics think sex is bad? Buddy, you’ve got to start thinking for yourself. Actually, the Church goes a quantum leap further in her appreciation of human sexuality than does Victoria’s Secret or the culture at large. No one has a higher regard and appreciation of human sexuality than the Catholic church. Period. The culture says that sex is “great”. What it doesn’t tell you is that this is a huge understatement. Sex is not simply great. It’s far, far more than great. Sex is sacred. It’s holy. Far beyond merely great. And when you treat something that is sacred as if it’s only ordinary you profane it. This is known as “sacrilidge”. For example, if you took a crucifix and used it as a doorstop, that would be a sacrilidge. You took a holy object–the crucifix–and used it in a way that is not worthy of the dignity intended for it. If you took holy water and used it to scrub the bathroom floor, same deal. Through brainwashing and pop-culture conformity our culture have gotten what is really going on in this world entirely backwards. Hence Anon’s culturally brainwashed mantras that correspond to precisely nothing in Catholic theology. Anon, let me put it to you in a way that maybe you will understand: WAKE UP NEO!!! THE MATRIX HAS YOU!! It’s the culture and not the Church which says sex is bad. The matrix–I mean—pop culture- profanes the sacred by representing human sexuality to us as nothing more than a form of recreation. It takes a most profound, beautiful and sacred expression of human love and treats it as merely entertainment….something to enjoy like watching a game of football or watching a movie. Nothing special. Just a lot of fun. Effectively declaring it profane. Get it? Profane = dirty. That you think sex has anything to do with original sin and the garden of eden narrative I suppose must have to do with some TV commercial or something you probably watched on MTV? Because….you definitely didn’t get that from the Catechism. And actually, you are even mistaken about cooties. Because of our culture’s outlook on sex as merely a form of recreation 1 out of every 5 people now have contracted a permanent venerial disease or, as you prefer, “cooties”. Yes, Anon, these days many girls actually do have cooties and it’s all largely due to the ignorant would view that you champion with obviously no reflection whatsoever. I challenge you to take the red pill, or you can just continue to take the easy road and keep giving in to the matrix like a good little slave to pop culture conformity. Just keep believing that if you saw it on TV or read it in Maxim it must be true. The culture would never lie. It could never be possible that a 2000 year old institution could have any wisdom. Fifty Cent and Ludicris are the true seat of wisdom as we all can plainly see.
Also…..sorry Dymphna. Advertisements featuring nice looking lingere are 100% porn. Just because it no longer shocks people doesn’t change what it is. Let’s see…..lingere is designed for what? To make undergarments more functional and comfortable for women….or…..to excite lust in men? So, what is the purpose of lingere advertisements? Let’s see, if my wife was wearing lingere, what would she be trying to stir up in me? Would the purpose be to excite me sexually in any way? I see your point. Lingere advertising has nothing to do with looking on a woman as an object. It’s a celebration of her intelligence. I can assure you that it would never occur to any guys I know to think of the women depicted in these ads as objects to fulfill thier sexual fantasies. Personally, when I see one of these ads what immediately pops into my mind is how comfortable the woman must feel in her see-through negligee. Who would believe me if I said that for even a split second I actually thought about the nearly naked model in the ad in a way that valued her for nothing more than her physical appearance? That’s crazy talk. It would obviously be an accidental occurance which the designers of these ads had never forseen. Hello! McFly!! It’s porn!! The matrix has you too! What do you think porn is? How would you define it? If porn is not designed to inspire lust, then just what is it’s function? Any time a human being is deliberately reduced to a mere sexual object it’s a form of pornography. The Sports Illustrated Swimsuit issue is porn. Victoria’s Secret ads are porn. The failure of our culture to understand this says volumes about the level of brainwashing we’ve succumbed to.
January 6, 2009 at 2:13 am
Wow. Amen to calling the mall. I hate the mall. I hate the mannequins dressed in clothing that objectifies the wearer. I hate the soft porn pictures staring out of A&F and GUESS. Truth be told, Frederick's is probably less pornographic in it's displays than many of the stores that cater to our teens. The ads on TV these days are embarrassing. And like you, I am sometimes at a loss for what to say to my children when they are subjected to these things. Thanks for once again provoking thought.
May 13, 2009 at 11:37 pm
personally i do not see this as porn in any sense. I also think trying to distract your kids from them makes them notice them even more. don’t you remember being a kid? when you were not supposed to do or see something the automatic reaction is that it must be important if im not supposed to. oh and one more thing in most instances they are wearing more clothes than people on the beach, do you deny your children this wonderful part of life, and one of gods amazing creations? teach your kids well and prey they will make the right decisions, but to not let them experience the real world is… well giving them false expectations