So I escaped my home for a few hours on Saturday by chloroforming my wife and stapling the children to the carpet and I made my way to Barnes and Noble bookstore nearby for a few hours.

I love going to the bookstore and sitting down in those big chairs with a hot chocolate. I remember the first time I ordered a hot chocolate there and the girl behind the counter said “Vente?” I said “No. Just a plain hot chocolate.” She laughed at me. I’m not talking a polite titter. I’m talking this girl laughed at me. And then she explained condescendingly that Vente means large.

Oh, said the large uncouth cretin. “Extra vente if you have it.”

Anyway, I did my typical bookstore thing Saturday by picking up any book that seems even remotely interesting to me but in my travels I noticed something. The famed scientist Francis Collins’ book, “The Language of God: A Scientist Presents Evidence for Belief” was in the “Christianity” section.

Yet I also noticed that Richard Dawkins’ book “The God Delusion” was placed prominently in the Science section.

I wonder why the discrepancy? So let me get this straight. If you’re a scientist who finds that science leads to God you’re voted off the Science island and relegated to the Christianity section. But if science leads you to believe in nothingness, then you’re cool enough to stay in the Science section.

And to add insult to injury, Collins, who decoded the Genome, is a far more accomplished scientist than Dawkins.

Now I can take a few consolations from this. One, there were more people in the Christianity section. And two, the science section is right near the bathrooms.

And before you go crazy calling 911 on me for stapling my children to the carpet, I didn’t really do that. I used Krazy Glue.