Nancy Pelosi, Harry Reid, and many other Democrats aren’t wasting a moment before politicizing the death of Ted Kennedy to further their legislation.
Hey, they even politicized the man’s funeral.
ABC is reporting that Pelosi said, “Ted Kennedy’s dream of quality health care for all Americans will be made real this year because of his leadership and his inspiration.”
Now, as Catholics we are quite familiar with the issue of raising the dead but I’m pretty sure that this is not what Jesus intended.
But CMR loves the idea of exploiting recent deaths and we’re suggesting that both parties continue this ugly tradition. Hey, if it works, it works. So let’s put our noggin’s together to come up with ways that both sides of the aisle can further their agendas on the backs of recently dead notables.
CMR would like to start the brainstorming by suggesting the “Michael Jackson Child Protection Act” which should be scheduled to be introduced by the GOP ASAP. Yeah, you might say this one’s a little below the belt but nobody can convince me that Corey Feldman didn’t sleep a little better after Jackson’s death.
GOP Line: Nobody knew better than Michael Jackson that children are susceptible to danger from predators and we’d like to do what Michael Jackson couldn’t do in his lifetime and that’s protect children by placing stiffer penalties on those convicted of being child predators. We must continue Jackson’s avowed legacy of protecting children.
The GOP could all even wear one shiny glove on the day the bill comes up for a vote. Just imagine Trent Lott walking around the halls of Congress with a sparkly glove. Priceless. And you’d get the pleasure of seeing Lott lead one of his apology parades on BET that did him so much good last time after he was criticized by the media.
And when Democrats vote against the Jackson bill the GOP could run ads saying something like “When Democrats voted against the Jackson bill it was almost like Michael Jackson was killed all over again.” Maybe a teary eyed Corey Feldman or Macaulay Culkin could star in the ad as I’m pretty sure they’re not really doing all that much right now anyway.
But the Dems aren’t going to end their use of the dead with Ted Kennedy. After some initial successes using Kennedy’s death to further their political agenda, Dems could introduce the Fairness Doctrine in an effort to silence conservative criticism forever.
But some infighting among Democrats may hamper their efforts as they may be undecided as to whether to call it “The Don Hewitt Fairness Doctrine” or the “Walter Cronkite Fairness Doctrine.” One Democrat insider said the problems with them are that nobody knows who the one is and nobody cares about the other.
But it must be admitted that both were quite familiar with biased reporting.
The GOP could introduce a counter proposal to make journalism better called “The Robert Novak Journalism Bill.” One possible snafu that might worry GOP consultants is Novak’s nickname was “The Prince of Darkness” which could potentially backfire against Republicans.
The GOP could also push their own Kennedy bill called the “Eunice Shriver Kennedy Pro-Life” bill which would urge Democrats to reconsider the legalization of killing babies. But Democrats will likely ignore the “Eunice” bill much like they did Eunice except when she was donating money to them.
So if you have any thoughts on others who have passed whose name or image can still be mined for political exploitation please let CMR know. The CMR Lobbying firm will then put the screws to the legislators to enact your agenda.