I’ll sum up. Dude in suburbs in Pennsylvania not far from me had a pet pig. Pig got along great with girlfriend and dog. Well, one day recently the pig got out. Neighbor saw it and freaked which is understandable and called 911. Town officials showed up, picked up the pig. The dude called the town asking for his pig back and the town told him that “farm animals” were illegal in Ridley township.
The dude looks up the town’s definition of “farm animal” but it includes only those animals you’re raising to eat or make a profit off of. The dude insists that Steve the pig is a pet but relents and says he’ll find a nice home for the pig but the town tells him that they sent Steve the pig far far away to a farm somewhere and it’s none of anyone’s business where he is. They wouldn’t tell him where or give any contact info for Steve the pig. Dude freaks and figures that’s a euphemism for Steve slathered in mayo as the featured element of a bologna sandwich, starts a big campaign against the government bullies, starts a Facebook page, prints “Where is Steve” t-shirts, and calls the media which covers the story in a classic bullying government vs. the little guy like this one:
And now the happy Frank Capra ending. Last night, according to Philly.com, a township commissioner dropped the pig off at the dude’s house. Dude hugs pig, camera pans back, music swells, and credits roll. Awesome only in America kind of ending, right? It’s like a sequel to Charlotte’s Web it’s so good.
Sniff. I think I got something in my eye.