Ash Wednesday. The day the Churches are filled. I’m always interested why people who don’t attend Mass regularly but go to Ash Wednesday services. Is it the Church is giving something away? Even when the Church is just giving away a little dirt, people show up. But people come out of the woodwork for Ash Wednesday.

A few years ago we had a problem with birds in our Church. It’s hard enough to be a Catholic, we don’t need to add pigeon droppings on you as you’re giving the sign of peace, do we? My pastor said he had an idea ow to get rid of the birds. “I’ll baptize them. Then they’ll only come back on Christmas, Ash Wednesday, and Easter.”

Anyway, I walked in yesterday and guess what? My pew was taken. I’m not saying that my name is on it but, but maybe it should be. There should be some council I can take my complaint to, right? Papal council? The bishop?

If you don’t normally attend Mass, maybe there should be a room where you’re kept until all the regular attendees are seated and then you can come in and sit wherever you want. I’m not locked in to this idea, I’m spitballing.

Because here’s the problem. Say one of these folks has a moving religious experience while at Ash Wednesday services and they decide to start attending Mass regularly. And what if they think that’s their pew!!!??? Then I’m going to have to start getting the kids ready earlier on Sunday and get them to Mass early. Do you know how hard that is?

So let’s all say a little prayer that some people are moved to begin attending regular Mass. Just not in my pew.