My daughter had her birth certificate at college. I knew not to give it to her but she was applying for a job and she said she needed the original. Long story short, she didn’t get the job and came home without a birth certificate. And now there’s no evidence that my daughter was born other than my gray hair and despondency.

So we have to get one reissued. This is…a process.

My brilliant and wonderful wife took it in stride and just said, “these things happen.”

I got to thinking, which is what gray haired despondent people do. And you want to know what’s really crazy? And I’m talking scratch your head and wonder kind of crazy.

The early Christians lost the cross and the crown of thorns. I understand that they may have been operating on little sleep and had an evil empire of killers oppressing them. But still. This is the cross and the crown of thorns.

We’re talking about the two most iconic pieces of religious memorabilia ever. We’re not talking about a spare set of car keys here. We’re talking about the actual, honest-to-goodness implements of the central event of human history.

You ever hear the story about how George Washington had just, you know, sort of mislaid the Declaration of Independence and he had to look for it in the couch cushions. No?

That’s because it didn’t happen.

You’d think, wouldn’t you, that the very first thing you’d do after, shall we say, a rather significant historical event involving these items, is to put them in a really nice, super-duper secure display case. Maybe with a velvet rope. And hire guards, big burly guys.

But no! Apparently, for a good chunk of time, these things were just… gone. Poof! Vanished into the mists of history, like that sock that always disappears in the dryer. You picture some early Christian disciple, rummaging through the upper room, kicking over a pile of sandals, muttering, “Now where did I put that thorny headgear? I know it was just here a minute ago, right next to the really big splintery wood thing…”

It’s truly astounding.

So next time you’re feeling disorganized, or you can’t find your phone that’s clearly in your hand, just remember: at least you haven’t misplaced the literal bedrock of Western civilization. Yet.

But the more I considered it, the more it made sense. When Christ was crucified, these 12…nope…11 guys were thinking they were literally on the run for their lives and that Jesus was dead. Of course, Jesus had attempted to explain what was about to happen numerous times but they had clearly put their hands over their ears yelling, “no spoilers.” And when Jesus did return, He sent them out to preach all over the globe. Don’t take anything with you, He instructed them. Just go.

So, it kind of affirms the truth of the scriptures because it’s all true.

So yeah, my daughter lost the evidence that she was born but hey, at least she didn’t lose the cross. It took a brilliant patient mother to find them. I could use Saint Helena’s investigative skills right now.