The Washington Post Loves Paolyamorous Relationships. In today’s Style section, the Washington Post has a love letter “news” piece on polyamorous relationships.
Here’s a snippet:
“Polyamory isn’t about sex, polys tell you. It is about love. It is about loving your primary partner enough to love that they have a new secondary partner, even when their New Relationship Energy with that person leaves you, briefly, out in the cold. It’s about loving yourself enough to acknowledge that your needs cannot be met by one loving person. It’s about loving love enough to embrace it in unexpected form — like maybe in the form of your primary’s new secondary! — in which case you may all form a triad and live happily together.”
I know what you’re thinking. Sick, right? Selfish? Weird? Don’t worry, a minister was there. Don’t believe me. Read this:
Of course, sex is a part of love. Which is why the pastor leading “Love and Marriage in Bible Times” finds herself talking really loud to combat the noises coming from the tantric sex workshop next door. Which is why another workshop deals with the proper way to navigate a “threesome, foursome, or moresome.”
That’s my favorite line of the piece. But it’s not done. Not by a long shot. We still have children to hurt. “Kids be damned” seems to be the overriding theme of the polyamorous. Here’s a paragraph that deals with the effects on children:
About a dozen poly parents discuss both changing public perception and the daily grind of child-rearing at the “Kids and Poly Relationships” seminar.
“My oldest son is very attached to our current girlfriend,” one male participant says. “It’s happened before with a relationship that didn’t last.” He wants to know how to protect his son while still giving him the opportunity to know the girlfriend.
A woman in her mid-30s wants to know how to enter the poly dating scene again. “I’ve basically been baby-hibernating for the past five years,” she says, but now she’d like a partner in addition to her husband.
“My 13-year-old is embarrassed of us,” says one concerned dad, with an expression of profound shame.
The session leader, a clinical therapist, laughs. “All 13-year-olds are embarrassed of their parents.”
I’m glad they could all have a laugh at the pain of a thirteen year old. Nice. As long as they’re happy, I guess. So one kid is embarrased and another kid keeps getting attached to the girlfriend of the month and having his poor little heart broken every time the revolving door spins. Let’s all have a big cathartic laugh again, shall we?
Hesse ended the piece by focusing on a young couple at the conference. While the man is demonstrating “proper cuddle etiquette” with another woman, his partner looks on “contentedly.” Hesse concluded, “They seem ridiculously in love.”
Oh. How sweet. That is until one of them is left out in the cold. So for all you folks out there who didn’t think that gay marriage would lead to a slippery slope of marriage between anyone and everyone, well don’t look now but your hurtliing down polyamory hill and it doesn’t look like you’re stopping until you reach the animals at the bottom of the hill.