A large group of polygamists announced today they intend to sue the government and dictionary makers to change the definition of the Word “Couple.”
“For too long the term ‘couple’ has been narrowly defined as two people and that’s practically the definition of discrimination to groups of three of more,” reads the press release from the ACLU.
Many people consider this the next civil right’s struggle of our time. And there are many victims of this narrow definition of the word.
“Do you know how hurtful it is to us to hear two people referred to as a “cute couple” when I know that will never be said about our little family of one husband and seven wives,” said one female polygamist. “It breaks my heart every time I hear the word.”
Polygamists say the discrimination is hidden but prevalent in society and they feel excluded from attending “couples resorts” or even attending “couples counseling.”
One polygamist said her husband and three other wives showed up for “couples counseling” and there were only two chairs set up. She said that they had to seek out a therapist to get over that trauma before they could even return to couple’s counseling. “And all that therapy gets expensive,” she said.
Mathematicians and scientists say a change in the definition of the word “couple” could produce problems in their respective fields.
In science a “coupling reaction” represents a range of reactions in organometallic chemistry where two hydrocarbon radicals are coupled with the aid of a metal containing catalyst.
“A couple is a couple” said one anti-polygamist mathematician who declined to be named for fear of public ostracizing. “Why can’t they just be happy with the words “few” or “group?”
Said one outraged polygamist: “Who is anyone to define what the word ‘couple’ should mean? Isn’t a couple any group of people who love each other?”
The polygamists did not say whether the golfer Fred Couples offended them.