Sherry Antonetti from Chocolate for Your Brain is posting another guest post here at CMR. You should read her and check her out over at her site. She’s a lot of fun.
What’s that? You didn’t study? You didn’t know there would be a test in this blog? Well, I’m sure you’ve picked up enough wisdom over the course of your years to at least pass.
1. Circle the word that best describes a crisis situation.
a) missing shoes.
b) having to wear a hand me down shirt.
c) two toddlers running with uncapped markers.
2. When is the best time to start to do homework?
a) after a snack and a brief break.
b) when your sisters start watching Wonder Pets.
c) when Mom says it’s bedtime.
d) When Mom is drafting volunteers for dishes and laundry.
3. Your brother falls and skins his knee while bringing up the garbage can. He goes to get first aid from Mom. You should:
a) bring up the can so he doesn’t have to do it
b) leave the can because it’s still his job or
c) put a recycling bin there for him to bring up because your other sister took up his trash can and this will make it fair.
4. Dinner is in five minutes. It is chicken. You hate chicken. You should:
a) wail, fall on the ground and sulk loudly until you get sent to your room so as to avoid eating.
b) ask for an entirely different meal that would require at least 30 more minutes of cooking in the presence of others who will then make the same request.
c) begin making an entirely different meal that would require at least 30 minutes of cooking, resulting in onlookers also beginning the same messy process.
d) None of the above.
5. Asking mom to stop at the store and get book socks is best done:
a) en route home from school.
b) after 10:30 pm
6. True or False: Mom can go without sleep. Circle one.
7. If you receive an allowance of seven dollars and want to buy a magic deck which cost $9.99, you should:
a) use your credit card since this is important. Hope that mom just pays the bill and doesn’t notice.
b) soft sell by telling your father about all these new cool cards that would enhance his deck such that he agrees to go to the store and hope the enthusiasm of the moment carries through to getting you your deck that will beat his even if he gets the cards you suggested.
c) save your money for two weeks.
d) persuade your younger brother to give you some of his money and you’ll get him some sweet cards in the process.
e) offer to do extra chores to get the extra scratch and butter up mom with a foot rub. (Hint: it’s never been tried).
8. When a four year old comes slamming into you with an 8 year old bearing down red faced and hand raised and your mother asks, “What is going on?” you say:
a) she was in my room messing up my things.
b) I just wanted to pat her on the head.
c) you don’t say anything, you nudge your four year old sister so that she accidentally falls to the floor and hope Mom thinks it was just an accident.
9. Mom has collapsed on the couch. You should:
a) wake her up and ask if she will decide whose turn it is to control the remote.
b) not wake her up and begin making a cake in the kitchen at 9:15 pm.
c) build a tower of blocks on her stomach to see how tall it can get before she wakes up.
d) wake her up and say we all over slept and that she needs to load the car so you can get to the metro on time.
e) be severely punished for having attempted any of the above.
10. Mom went grocery shopping. You are hungry. You should:
a) unload the car until you get to something choice, then begin eating.
b) look over the receipt and figure out that there isn’t anything you like, so you start making pudding with the fresh milk.
c) suggest going to McDonald’s in the presence of toddlers, ensuring a chorus of requests.
d) put away the groceries and then once Mom leaves the kitchen, devour everything in sight while offering bounty to any other children who pass by such that shopping will be needed again in three days rather than six.
Now, the answers: 1: (c), 2: If you can do your homework sans assistance, any answer but c or d, 3: One of these really happened, bonus points if you can guess which one. 4: (d) Offer to do the dishes if you can have a bowl of cereal instead. 5: Trick question, neither. 6: False. She does, but it’s not good. 7: Given the number of magic cards in this house, only (c) and only if you also do (e). 8: None of the above…ever. 9: I’m never lying down on the couch again. 10) (e) only buy healthy options until the child wearies of asking and says yes to the carrots, apples or yogurt.
Don’t forget, essays on the necessity of bed time will be due Tuesday. Have a great weekend.