In honor of Halloween I’m promulgating my long held theory on parenting informed by monster movies. When I was young and single I was King Kong. The King of all Monsters. Nobody messed with Kong. Nobody. Until…I fell in love. And then down goes Kong.

I’m sure you can relate. First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes the baby in the baby carriage. I’m sure this path happened similarly for many of you. Let’s walk along the Monster Movie timeline of parenting.

Birth of baby. You are The Fly.

You are an unsuspecting victim who dabbled with powers far beyond your comprehension and changes have come upon you unbidden. You’re not yourself anymore. You don’t know what you are. But it’s not pretty.

1-3 mos. –You are a Vampire

– You’ve been cursed to walk the night and it seems that this may go on for eternity. As a nocturnal creature with red bloodshot eyes you frighten all who come in contact with you. As the sun rises, you curse it and only wish for sleep, peaceful sleep.

Continue reading at the National Catholic Register>>>