Former atheist Jen Fulwiler has essentially dared us to come up with activities for atheists to do during Atheist Pride Week. She wrote, “I’ll leave it to the Archbolds to come up with some witty suggestions for how one might celebrate A Week.”
As you know, CMR does not back down from challenges so…(pause for drama)… Here’s CMR’s official Top Ten List of Activities for Atheists During Atheist Pride Week.
1) Invite your atheist friends over, rent the entire Ricky Gervais’ movie catalogue from Netflix, and discuss why someone so brilliant and atheisty can’t make a good movie. (Makes for a nice early night!)
2) Come up with excuses why it’s irrelevant that atheist utopias always end up with lots of dead people.
3) Figure out how to convince doctor you have glaucoma so you can get medical marijuana.
4) Attend nihilist convention in an ill lit ballroom and stare into the nothingness while listening to REM’s “Everybody Hurts” and inhaling your glaucoma medicine.
5) Do nothing. Nothing matters anyway.
6) Talk with other atheists about how brave you are to be atheists.
7) Troll Catholic blogs all day (just like you do every day) leaving nasty comments and sign off feeling superior while inhaling your glaucoma medicine.
8) Go to Whole Foods for a nice organic feast to celebrate atheism called A-Whole.
9) Attend conference at Berkeley entitled, “Misunderstood Mao.”
10) Declare war on Libya.
11) Tell my mother she’s like totally dumb or something for believing in God and then slam the door on the way back to my room in the basement. (What? It’s got a separate entrance.)
If you’d like to add your own activities, please feel free in the combox.
March 24, 2011 at 3:08 am
Believe that you were made in the image and likeness of apes.
March 24, 2011 at 3:29 am
Have a contest to name the creature that man will some day evolve into.
Brainstorm ways to help evolution be more environmentally friendly.
Visit a corporate art museum.
The glaucoma is getting worse. Start a petition to legalize crack for medical purposes.
March 24, 2011 at 3:31 am
Criticize the Catholic church while benefiting from all that it has introduced to the world such as universities, hospitals, modern law, modern science, and the dignity of the human person.
March 24, 2011 at 4:07 am
Be intellectually dishonest RE almost anything of science, chastise Christians for daring to believe in something besides human reason, and incessantly praise the virtues of our modern, progressive world.
Oh, wait, that won't work, will it?
That stuff already happens on a daily basis on the average college campus…..
March 24, 2011 at 9:29 am
Disrupt Religous Services,While Holding A Placard that Says:"Padre Damaso!"
March 24, 2011 at 12:12 pm
Think of things you don't like and add an "A" to the beginning. For example, I am "aketchup".
March 24, 2011 at 2:24 pm
Theists get God. Atheists get our tax dollars to fund their activities. All legal fees for every civil lawsuit against theists, religion and God is paid for by taxes. Separation of church and state be damned, freedom FROM religion pays."IN GOD WE TRUST". Atheists have repudiated their own unalienable civil rights endowed by OUR CREATOR and are using our citizenship against us to further atheism to tyranize maan. Take away the tax dollars and see how many atheists show up at the symposium.
March 24, 2011 at 2:40 pm
Sit down and calculate to the 1000th decimal place the probably of the universe arranging itself out of chaos completely by accident.
March 25, 2011 at 12:53 pm
BY DEFUNDING THE AMERICAN CIVIL LIBERTIES UNION, having repudiated our founding principles the ACLU has rewritten our Declaration of Independence, having imposed tyranny of freedom FROM religion and refusing to recognize the ordinary citizen, the ACLU has refused it own citizenship and has NO legal standing in a court of law, nor does the ACLU have any claim to our money.
March 25, 2011 at 12:56 pm
Furthermore,The American Civil Liberties Union, in its quest for complete domination of every freedom endowed by OUR CREATOR, every freedom, having been endorsed by the lives and deaths of every patriot, has destroyed it affiliation with American Citizenship. The American Civil Liberties Union whose intent is to remove every freedom from a sovereign citizen, whose sovereignty constitutes America, freedom in worshipping our Creator, in acknowledging the Person of God and the unalienable rights and the freedoms endowed by OUR CREATOR, in freedom of religion, speech, press and peaceable assembly about the Person of God, cannot be entitled to a single penny of our money for any reason. The American Civil Liberties Union has exiled itself to the gulag of imposed tyranny by itself and now must endure that exile as non-citizens. American money cannot be used against the free citizen. Freedom from religion is part of freedom from life, liberty and the pursuit of Happiness, and for the American Civil Liberties Union, freedom from citizenship and the participation in American life. Having repudiated America’s founding principles, the American Civil Liberties Union has repudiated its citizenship and forfeit its legal standing in a court of law.
March 25, 2011 at 10:54 pm
CMR's official Top Ten List of Activities for Atheists During Atheist Pride Week shows 11 activities. Personally I have done number 5 – nothing (related to atheism), not because nothing matters but because I have been busy living
March 29, 2011 at 10:56 pm
Haha I'm an atheist and this still made me laugh. We're not all condescending pricks though, live and let live! 🙂