What a nut! A Pennsylvania judge has been cleared of violating judicial conduct standards, according to MSNBC.
So what did the judge get busted for? Handing out “condom-stuffed acorns” to strange women.
Wait, what? Is that some kind of inuendo that I’m not smart enough to understand? Far from congratulating the guy’s genius for somehow fitting condoms into acorns which deserves some kind of honorary engineering degree, the court scolded him.
The court ruling issued Wednesday said that while the incident does not qualify as a violation, “it certainly lacks good judgment and must not be repeated.”
The court also wrote that Stoltzfus’ “preoccupation with acorns is mystifying.”
Wait, the problem is the acorns? The guy hands two women a piece of synthetic rubber that men place on themselves to catch sperm from entering a woman and we’re really focusing on the fact that he gave them acorns? Think about how weird the world has gotten. In this day and age when schools and the United Nations hand out condoms by the boatload I guess it’s not weird anymore that a judge would hand out condoms. But wrap them in acorns and you’ve got yourself a violation of some sort.
But maybe this all makes sense in a way. You’ll never guess what town the judge is from? Intercourse, Pennsylvania. Seriously. You can’t make this stuff up.