Here’s the greatest lede in a newspaper article that I’ve ever read. It’s got everything. It’s got anti-Catholicism. It’s got holier-than-thou homosexuals. It’s got lunacy. It’s got faux-objective journalism. Ready for it? Here’s the lede from The Daily Telegraph:
A group of glamour lesbians who believe the world was created by an alien civilisation 25,000 years ago have criticised the Catholic Church for being out of touch.
Yes! That’s the all time winner, folks. Here’s the rest of the story:
The representatives of the Gay Raelian society yesterday staged a demonstration outside Parliament House to protest the Pope’s arrival for World Youth Day next week.
Raelian spokeswoman Eden Bates said it was an insult that the Pope would be welcomed into Australia when “our gorgeous, fantastic spiritual leader Rael wasn’t even given the respect of a visa”.
“I’m not Catholic, I’m Raelian and I’d like to see police escorts for our beautiful prophet when he comes to Australia,” she said.
Ms Bates said the Catholic Church was archaic and people needed to come to a better understanding about the world around them.
We’re the archaic ones? They’re based on aliens from 25,000 years ago. We’re just 2,000 years old. We’re practically babies compared to them.
Ms Bates said the Raelians didn’t care if a person was gay or straight or bi-sexual or even just a little bit curious.
But then the article ends pricelessly with this wonderful line.
Rael is a Frenchman and former motor sport journalist and race-car driver whose parents, the Vorilhons, called him Claude.
After the story was all said and done and I stopped laughing one profound question leapt to my mind: “What’s a glamour lesbian?”
July 9, 2008 at 9:12 pm
How can anyone parody this one? I’ve linked to this post from my own blog, this just can’t be believed.
July 9, 2008 at 10:44 pm
I didn’t know these people existed. This is totally news to me. From what I read within the past 30 mins of learning about them, they make Scientologists look like Presbyterians.
So, I guess it’s not too surprising that these women would want to Raël against the Pope…
July 9, 2008 at 10:47 pm
You get marks for being brave enough to master the art of bad puns;) Congratulations. Your family must be very proud.
July 9, 2008 at 10:48 pm
As if they weren’t fringe enough just being a glamour lesbian, they had to go an join the Raelians. They really wanted to be fringe.
July 10, 2008 at 1:14 am
Raelians, are largest in Quebec,(Quebec having the most cults/sects movemts per captia in the Western hemisphere) where their founder spends most of his time. They are always trying prove they have funded for an actual human clone.
They have nudist activity in there teen summer camps up here, which caused a bit of an investigation last year.
The worst is that being actively anti-Catholic,such as they once protested outside a ‘Catholic’ highschool in Quebec(thats in Canada btw,:) ), and handed out black crosses to the students, asking them to renounce there baptism and then step on/and or , toss the cross into a grabage can provided for them. Most students ignored them, thought they were doing an odd skit etc, most weren’t (or weren’t sure) if they were baptized anyways!)
they get alot of young guys in the Sect, because of the trampy french young women(strippers , new age hippie chicks etc) that are a part of it.
a Raelian (wearing his huge medalian and all) actual, teaches at a ‘cegep'( sort of junior college one goes to after grade 12 to prepare for Univ. in Quebec sponsored by the Govt.), i think he teaches Psychology.
July 10, 2008 at 3:08 am
July 10, 2008 at 6:22 am
Looks like I’ll be in Sydney around the time of WYD.
If any “glamour lezzos” so much as look at me sideways, I think I’ll march ’em to the nearest policeman.
That goes for anyone who hands me a Jack Chick tract, or Protestant literature, or copy of the Koran. Man, I’m gonna love these WYD special laws! Haven’t seen anything like it in my lifetime (hey, I was born just before Francisco Franco died). I wish more governments would crack down on Raelians, confiscate the assets of Scientology, close the mosques and politely ask the proddies to convert.
July 10, 2008 at 2:35 pm
“Glamour Lesbians” was a Steely Dan song, right?