In an embarrassing public relations disaster, the pirates who seized control of a Saudi oil tanker arrived at the negotiating table to demand a payout wearing Gucci Ghutrahs, riding expensive horses with almost all their teeth, and sporting top flight automatic weapons.
Unwittingly, the pirates gave the Saudis all the PR ammunition they needed to fight back against their demands.
Many who were originally supportive of the pirates aims are now asking why pirates that need to ask for millions of dollars ransom are able to afford such expensive luxury items like fine horses and automatic weapons.
“They come riding in here like woo-hoo I’m Mr. All that” said one Saudi official. “And then they’re asking for money. Come on. It just shows a tin ear in these difficult economic times.”
The Muslim street is now comparing the pirates unfavorably to previous murderous thugs from the region like Osama bin Laden. “Hey, say what you want about Osama,” said one peasant. “Osama always kept it real.”
“Real terrorists make do with what they have,” said one anonymous Saudi official. “They use half sharpened swords, pistols, box cutters. They wear bombs. None of this high falutin’ fancy shmancy stuff.”
Many pirate experts believe the Somali pirate organizations are bloated and inefficient from top to bottom and it would be best for them to go under until they can restructure. While the pirates don’t have a lot of employees live long enough to retire with a pension the organization has made financial promises to families of fallen comrades. But the organization admits it has no business plan to trim their budgets.
“These are troubled economic times,” said a representative of OPEC. “But rather than tightening their own belts and truly economizing, they still somehow believe they can continue their high-living ways.”
Many say this p.r. “fiasco” will likely effect how much the pirates end up receiving.
Sensing a public relations problem, the pirates went back to their ship without a deal. But having perhaps learned their lesson, the pirates have announced plans to arrive at the negotiating table later this week on asses and wearing simple home made bombs filled with broken glass.