Who needs Nostradamus when you have the great Santorum? Santorum said if the right to sex is the right to any sort of “consensual sex” then logic dictates that soon you’ll have the right to bigamy, the right to polygamy, the right to incest, the right to adultery. You have the right to anything.

And New Jersey is proving him right. Kind of.

The Daily News reports:

A New Jersey judge has dismissed animal cruelty charges against a cop accused of committing a sex act with young cows, saying a grand jury had no way of knowing whether the animals were “tormented.”

Moorestown police officer Robert Melia, who is currently suspended, allegedly engaged in oral sex acts with five calves in Southampton in 2006.

Since New Jersey currently has no law explicitly banning such an act, prosecutors in Burlington county brought animal cruelty charges against Melia, the Philadelphia Daily News reports.

Judge Morely said it was questionable that Melia’s acts, though “disgusting,” constituted animal cruelty.


So the legal hangup was “the cow might have enjoyed it?” Really? Seriously? Pretty soon we’ll have defense attorneys asking “What was the cow wearing?”

All I can say to that is sometimes moo means moo. I mean, come on. And the story says the cows were young cows. The guy was a cop. It’s not like he was some great director who’s allowed to do what he wants with underage cows?

Now tell me. Can any of you be surprised about this story? Because I can’t say I’m shocked. I’m horrified. But I’m not shocked.