In a desperate move intended to boost its dwindling numbers, a two-millenia old racist misogynist institution is attempting to lure a younger group of misogynist racists who don’t feel at home in the 21st century.

The Vatican yesterday announced that it would make it easier for many hate-filled Anglicans who are uncomfortable with the Anglican Church’s acceptance of women priests and openly gay bishops to join the Catholic Church.

This move is, of course, a slap in the face of the Anglican Church which has been kindly attempting to steer the Catholic Church into modernizing for years. But the Catholic Church’s intractable and stubborn stances has caused thousands and thousands of former Catholics to escape the clutches of the Pope over the years to the delight of many. But to see perhaps hundreds of thousands perhaps falling back into Rome is upsetting for Anglicans, atheists and many Jesuits.

Some say this move is the ultimate in hypocrisy as the Church doesn’t allow priests to marry but is allowing these Anglican married priests to stay married clearly as a blatant attempt to boost its numbers. “This is the last desperate move from a dying institution,” said one Catholic priest from Notre Dame. “I only fear that this will make modernizing the Church even more difficult because the Church is essentially being rewarded for its backwardness.”

One Catholic writer for America Magazine said that for a modern day Anglican to join the Catholic Church it’s akin to “stepping into a time machine that takes you back 2,000 years.”

Many believed that ecumenism simply meant that the Catholic Church would become more Anglican, not that some Anglicans would become Catholic. This startling move by Pope Benedict XVI, a former Hitler Youth, has many Catholics wondering how long modernization will be stalled before a new and enlightened Pope can embrace the 21st century.